I was very close with this guy for 2 years. We were well and truly best friends. One day I felt a little low so he came over to my house with a chinese takeaway and a stack of DVDs. This was at midnight. He knows the deepest secrets of my childhood that even my boyfriend doesn't know yet. I supported him as much as he supported me, and I don't mind admitting now that I was deeply in love with him at one point. Even he told me he thought we would end up together. But then, about 4 or 5 months ago I attempted suicide. He was the first and one of the only people I have told about it. He dragged it out of me less than a week after I'd done it. I already knew his opinions on suicide so I was nervous about telling him, and I knew as soon as I'd said it that things wouldn't be the same again. I didn't see much of him after that until I called him one day to see how he was. He shouted. A lot. He said what I'd done was selfish and inconciderate of other peoples feelings. He asked me what I thought my mum would have done. I was crying and all I could say was that I was sorry and I couldn't help it and I needed help. He just shouted and shouted and I've never heard him so annoyed ever. He asked how I expected him to help me if I wouldn't tell him how I feel, and said he was fed up with my attitude. He was basically telling me I needed to pull myself together and sort my life out. It was one of the most awful things I'd ever gone through because I cared about him so much and I know he cared about me too. We havn't spoken since. I've emailed him a couple of times, once in complete distress asking if we could talk again, and once a few months later, telling him sorry for how things turned out and thanking him for all the help he gave but ultimately saying some people have been there for me and some havn't, and I need to select my friends more carefuly. He never replied to either message. We walked past each other in town once and caught each others eye before I looked away and we walked right by each other. Once recently I did phone him and he actually picked up. We said we missed each other and he asked how I was. I said I was doing fine and he laughed and said I was never fine. He just sounded really fed up. I know I had been difficult for a little while and I know it must be hell to get news like that from a friend. But how he reacted has completely ruined me. I feel terrified to tell my friends how I feel all the time because it now makes me feel like a burden and like I'm bothering them. I want to die so often but I can't tell anyone because clearly, even the people I think will always be there for me will just get fed up with it in the end. I can't expect people to put up with me anymore but I can't always deal with it on my own and I don't know what to do. :sad: I can't tell anymore when I've said too much and its got tedious for people. I don't mind so much that he found it difficult to deal with, and fine if he needed time away from me, or even never to talk again. But its just the way he went about it. And I don't know if thats unreasonable of me and I'm completely in the wrong. It just feels so much like I'm bothering people now and like if I tell them how I feel it will just make them suffer needlesly. Its so difficult, because I have so many supportive friends and the most understanding boyfriend who I'm sure would stick by me. But I thought the same about my best friend and now he doesn't want to know. Sorry this is so long, I think I needed to get some things off my chest.