I lost it all

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by soclose_sofar, Sep 27, 2006.

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  1. soclose_sofar

    soclose_sofar New Member

    I'm 17 years old. I play football, popular kid, etc. I'm a senior in high school to be exact. I was a Division I scholarship player, but something so wrong can change that.

    A friend and I were raised around hazing. And we thought it was right in this matter of time, which it wasn't. We hit a kid with a cleat, not causing any damage. Maybe a scratch. We get arrested, sent to jail, etc. I can't play football for the rest of my senior season, so that means that my scholarship is gone. Now I'm sitting here, wanting to end my life.

    So my question is, what do I have to live for? I've been thinking about going for a few days now, and just ending it all. I have nothing, I can't go to college, I can't live. I'm a target now, a target to be killed, threatened, lied, and cheated to for the rest of my life. I have nothing to live for, nothing to be proud of. So tell me, why should I live? My parents don't understand, no one does. It was a mistake blown out of proportion, and now it's taken away almost $100,000 of my life to learn how to become successful. Now everything I dreamed for, is just gone. So what's the point of living?
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    i am so sorry this happened to you...but ultimately, it is what can you learn from this...the Universe usually brings us these lessons for a reason...also know, that when you become a prominent physcian, lawyer, business exec, you will have a great story of determination to tell your associates...things happen and we all screw up...so step back, find another path, and know that this will not matter as much in a few yrs (had a former partner sue me for $625,000 20 yrs ago...at the time i thought it was the end of my life...today, i still fantasize sometimes about things i should have done to him (took no actions other than defending myself, for which i did not pay him a cent, but did lose my business), but so much life has come between that event and now...here's to this being a part of your history...big hugs, Jackie
     
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    It may seem as if all is lost at the moment. You can finish college despite not being allowed to play football. There are other scholarships out there if finances are the problem. Change schools if it would be impossible for you to continue where you currently are. Learn from your mistakes and continue on. Don't let this one destroy you. Can you talk to a counselor about your feelings? Also speak to college admissions, maybe they can send you in the right direction for other scholarships. It is possible to still be successful. Take life by the horns and do something with it. Please take care hun. :hug:
     
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