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I lost the one I love

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by anarulesmenow, Oct 16, 2009.

  1. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    I'd better just state that their not actually dead, although I have lost them. We were best friends and we also had something, although it wasn't a proper relationship.I know I loved her and that she loved me.I am a bi girl and so was she. I fell in love with her two years ago and we did things and we were practically together but then one day something happened to separate us.I'm going to cut the story short and stick to the basics, although there is a lot more important information.
    We both had problems with depression and one day me and her and some others went into town and got drunk.
    I later found out that night that she had gone to hospital and I thought it was for alcohol poisoning.I heard that her mum was blaming me and she just stopped talking to me.I was so worried and upset for her and it was only 3 months later when I found out she'd actually slit her wrists instead and her mum was blaming me.I also heard that her mum had managed to convince her that it was my fault(her mum was a complete control freak).I tried for 8 months to get us to be just friends and finally we became friends again(after a very long and painful time).
    We were friends for about 3 months but everytime we met it felt like there was this big gap between us because of what had happened.I knew she was still hurting from it but she never dared speak about it.On the other hand, I was hurting really badly from it and I needed to talk to her about it.So I texted her asking if we could talk about something. I didnt say what it was but she didnt reply.I texted her a couple more times and she stopped speaking to me, although all I said was could we talk.
    We still havnt spoken and I just dont know what to say or do.It was her birthday today andit really messed me up.I need to talk to her and I still love her. Last time we spoke, I could tell there was still something between us, but I dont know how to sort it out.
    This is the basics of the story, a lot more has happened in the past.I was just wondering if anyone had any tips on what to do.She hasnt blocked me on msn, but Im not sure if its a good idea to talk to her on there?

    What should i do?I still love her.
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    The only thing you can do is take care of yourself. That way, if the opportunity arises to speak with her happens, you will be in good shape.

    Are you getting treatment for depression?

  3. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    if you love her, then i would try and talk to her and tell her how you feel. msn would be the best because it's not really one on one and i think personally talking online is a lot easier than in person.

    i would also suggest you seeing a psychiatrist or therapist. you seem like you have a lot to get off your chest.

    you can always message me if you need to talk. we're all here for you.
  4. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    Thanks, i've been to a counsellor before but it never worked, I can never talk in person.Ive been thinking about talking to her on msn but Im too scared to, do you have any idea of what i could say?
  5. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    take to her now...im bi and fall in love before...maybe my reply is late..but if u didnt yet talk to her...just go and start taking..."hi..how r ya"...u can start with small nice talk...go for it..now..go
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 17, 2009
  6. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    ana the best thing to do is like bg said say hi how are you when she's online,leave it open like that at least you know you're being nice.Don't bother getting into a stressful situation if you can avoid it,at least you know you've done the right and nice thing to be nice.That way you can at least say I was nice and tried,she may come around when she's ready but in the meantime I think it's the best thing to do if you want to say anything.