I love her with all my heart

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by dark.streets, Jan 21, 2010.

  1. dark.streets

    dark.streets Member

    Ever since I left, my heart has broken a thousand times. I haven't seen her in so long...but I have...
    She's always here with me, haunting me, whispering to me, comforting me...
    But it's just a manifestation of my heart's desire. To live, to love, and to be with her. It was supposed to be forever, not two years...that's no time at all.
    Ever since, time has changed for me. No longer does it pass by me in a lazy river of halcyon memories. It crashes around me. It beats me down, takes my breath, and basks in my unending pain.
    Why did things have to be like this? Now, half a country separates us and only half my heart beats. I can never have her again...
    She is but a ghost to me now, an unattainable need.
    I have nothing now. No worldly possessions, no spiritual guidance, no real reason to live.
    Except for hope. As a solitary tear falls on her picture, I know that she will be happy one day, at least. She will find someone ten times better than me, someone who she doesn't have to go to sleep wondering if she'll wake up and find him dead. Someone who doesn't bear the self inflicted scars of a hideous and destructive addiction.
    As the clouds move past me like shadowed wraiths, I wonder...can I...will I...should I move on?
    My heart will forever belong to her.
     
  2. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Some folks will find any reason to suffer, better to do so for a love you cannot tarnish and so long as you desire to suffer you will always cling to that which always causes the most pain.
     
  3. dark.streets

    dark.streets Member

    I just wish the phantasmagorical silhouette of her beautiful form would one day materialize into something real...
    Something I can hold...something I can hear...something I can say I'm sorry to...
     
  4. Robin

    Robin Guest

    So it was an online relationship then?
     
  5. dark.streets

    dark.streets Member

    No. It was a physical relationship.
     
  6. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Was you the one to move half a country away to save her from yourself?
     
  7. dark.streets

    dark.streets Member

    Yes. And to save myself from myself.
    To escape the clutches of what was destroying me.
     
  8. Robin

    Robin Guest

    You don't sound like a knife wielding psycho, or a wife beater, what is it you are so scared of?
     
  9. dark.streets

    dark.streets Member

    I bring her down. I hold her back. She is simply better off without me.
    She isn't why I left.
     
  10. Robin

    Robin Guest

    If she wants you back I'd go back and see a dr. Unless the only thing she is really interested in is how many diamonds you can cram on her fingers. Most folks I know looking for love are looking for someone who cares about them, will be tender and love them till they have passed beyond old and grey. A lot of people never know love in life only the sick discard it.
     
  11. dark.streets

    dark.streets Member

    I had to leave. I had no choice. I can't go back either.
     
  12. Robin

    Robin Guest

    You make it sound like you made sure of that?
     
  13. dark.streets

    dark.streets Member

    I can't say any more about that. It's not the issue, me missing this girl is.
     
  14. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Anything that creates suffering is the point, the world is a great place, filled with such wonderful souls, but it can still kick anyones arse if they're in the wrong place at the wrong time, making all the more reason we should keep our loved ones close and find better ways to deal with the knocks in life than by blaming ourselves and creating suffering where none need to be.

    No-one deserves to hurt.
     
  15. dark.streets

    dark.streets Member

    It's hard to explain, okay?
    I didn't leave because of her, in fact, that isn't what drove us apart.
    It was infidelity.
     
  16. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Am sorry, guess am getting a lil confused and from by what I can now see your hands are tied.
     
  17. dark.streets

    dark.streets Member

    Yes. They pretty much are. I will never be with her again, assuming I see her again.