I love him! help!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by toffeekitten, Jun 16, 2010.

  1. toffeekitten

    toffeekitten Well-Known Member

    I still love my ex..like really love him. I posted a while ago about how he was with my best mate. I hear about them being together and going places and opn facebook...and it just breaks my heart. they have opened my eyes to what i was doing wrong! I just wish I could have him back..despite how much he hurt me. I would be a much better gf! Its so hard...he saw a thread on here of mine and text me as soon as he saw it...really worried and caring. when i told him more he got really angry and defensive of me..like he did when we were going out!

    He is giving me a lift to church tomorrow...just as friends, but he said not to be surprised if he hugged me! I really don't think i will handle that. it will be hard enough seeing him for the first time since all the stuff with my best mate! I asked him why he would hug me and he said cos of what u posted...and other stuff! now he wont explain what other stuff :s
    My exams will be over soon so if we were together i would be able to spend loads of time with him and be much less stressed! I love him so much its killing me.

    Do you think im reading too much into the little things or is he sending mixed messages? any advice as to what I can do? He is the first boy I have ever loved..!
  2. justmeonlyme

    justmeonlyme Long Time SFer Staff Alumni

    is he still with your 'friend'?
  3. toffeekitten

    toffeekitten Well-Known Member

  4. justmeonlyme

    justmeonlyme Long Time SFer Staff Alumni

    well that makes things harder...
    ok im not very good with this sort of thing so yea...
    it must be hard to still be in love with your ex... im not really sure how things ended coz that could factor into this as well... i can understand it been hard seeing your ex and your friend together :hug:
    he obviously still cares about you in someway...
    idk if your reading into this to much or not as id be the same way lol idk if there is anything more in it though like if hes still with your friend then yea... idk my advice would be to just not jump to conclusions he might just be trying to be friends however hard that is for you... i say prosed with care...
    :hug: i hope things go ok
  5. toffeekitten

    toffeekitten Well-Known Member

    Thankyou...we are friends...but I just don't know what to do! we have had several ups and downs with our relationship....and he has gone between me and my friend a few times. :s
    I should hate him but I can't!
    He dumped me about 3 weeks ago, then messed around with me and mate for about 2 weeks afterwards. now he is with her, has been for just over 2 weeks now xxxx
    I wish I didn't love him, but at the same time I wish I could have him back!
  6. justmeonlyme

    justmeonlyme Long Time SFer Staff Alumni

    :hug: yea its hard but like i said just see what happens thats about the only advice i can give sorry
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Oh hun be careful....if he is going to and fro between you and your friend you will be hurt again.....
    My ex was like that and I finally got sick of the way he treated me...I will always love him but I won't go back.....
    You deserve respect ...
    he can't have his cake and eat it to..:hugtackles:
  8. toffeekitten

    toffeekitten Well-Known Member

    :( thanks, he has stopped going between us now tho..settled on her. Im trying to move on but I have realised just how much I love him! :'(
  9. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Personally to me it sounds as though he's just playing games, though maybe I'm misreading things. The fact that he played around between you and your friend isn't a very good start and now he's with your friend and hinting at hugs and texting you to say he cares, etc., to me it just feels as though the guy gets off on having girls fawning over him so he keeps you hanging with little tidbits that keep you interested. It sucks you feel that you're in love with this guy, but he sounds like bad news.

    Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
  10. toffeekitten

    toffeekitten Well-Known Member

    Thank you, you make a good point and these things have crossed my mind. xxx
  11. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I don't know but this sounds like torture. How can you stand being friends with him, when he acts the same way as if you were together- and you feel for him so strongly?

    Wouldn't it be easier just to not be friends and cut all contact? Or is that too difficult at the moment?
  12. toffeekitten

    toffeekitten Well-Known Member

    Honestly, it feels like torture! He was hugging me loads last night and got really really wound up over what my step-dad did to me. it was scary!
    it would be easier for me, but not for him...he also now knows how I feel about him..he found out yesterday by reading a thread :s he values my friendship because he confides in me, and cant with anyone else. I know he wont tell his gf and tbh she would struggle to deal with his issues anyway. so if he isnt talking to me he is bottling everything up.

    Cutting contact is also impractical because he is my only way of getting to places like church on a regular basis and I will see him there anyway :(
    This sucks :'(