I love Marijuana but I don't know why...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by depressedGirl, Aug 15, 2010.

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  1. depressedGirl

    depressedGirl Well-Known Member

    I can't understand it. I try so hard to tell myself it isn't good for me but I never seem to want to stop. This is the weird thing.
    I was at my mates and we were smoking it and I started to feel really ill. Hot, dizzy and my heart started to beat really quick and even though I told my mate I was giving up I just couldn't do it. How abnormal is that? If something makes you ill you quit but not me. I just couldn't stop. I still can't.
    I am fed up with feeling like this but if I won't stop then there is nothing else to do. I swear I am not making this up. Noone understands how I feel. My Dad has begged me to stop and now my Mum wants me to but I don't know how to stop. I love it so much. I know it sometimes makes me ill. I also know I hate this feeling but I still won't quit.
    I know marijuana is making me paranoid but I won't stop. My family can't put up with me without it. They say I am unbearable. I know it's true. I snap at people, feel sick, wake up in hot sweats and just crave it so badly. I have sold most my games to get it. I need it.
    Can someone tell me how long I am going to feel this way. I thought it was a phase but I am not so sure. Someone help.
  2. Blades

    Blades Member

    Dude, weed isn't that bad. Just buy a vaporizer... It's not the weed making you paranoid, your just a paranoid person. Just get a vaporizer and it's not even bad for. I'm high as balls right now, and let me tell you, I would normally be depressed really bad. Just use it in moderation if your really that scared. Don't worry. :) If you want me to prove it's not bad, just tell me all the things you think it does to you.
  3. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Do you feel you're self harming with it? Because usually people enjoy smoking weed, rather than using it to make them feel so ill.

    Can you talk to someone you trust or a counsellor? They might be able to help and refer you on to the right people.
  4. depressedGirl

    depressedGirl Well-Known Member

    I wasn't doing it to make me ill. It was just the way I felt when I took it.
  5. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Weed used to be my god. That was until I relaized that it was ruining my life, and making things worse than they were. I now have Yahweh and he helps me through everything, and he is free. :hug: You don't need drugs, you can make it thorugh this. Blessings..
  6. Infinite Sadness

    Infinite Sadness Well-Known Member

    Hey there..I have the same problem as you, or rather I used to up until June 19 of this year. I was smoking it on a reg basis and I was not even enjoying it anymore all of the time. Half of the time it was giving me anxiety and other times it was just making me into a zombie. I had tried to quit it with my husband and my daughter around but I would be a major bitch without it..bad mood, couldn't sleep..freaking out..it was awful.

    I was admitted to hospital and that is honestly how I managed to quit. The first two weeks were hell. I couldn't sleep at night, I was sweating, my mind was so fogged up. I couldn't remember conversations I had 5 minutes prior. UGH. Things started to get better for me after 2 weeks. After a month the cravings were still there but not nearly as bad and I have been sober off it ever since. I got out of hospital July 17th and I have managed to stay away from it this whole time just because I know if I go back or even have a little bit, it will screw me again and I will want more.

    I have no idea why I loved it so much either I think I didn't want to be sober and face reality but the weed was making things worse and not better in the long run..I got to a point where I had smoked so long and so much that being sober for a few hours felt "high"..

    I wonder if there is a program you could get into in your area for helping to stop?

    You can PM me if you like about this and we can chat more.. :hug:
  7. Ihatemyselfalot

    Ihatemyselfalot Banned Member

    Trying to tell yourself weed sucks is like trying to tell yourself sex sucks, its great enjoy it.

    It isn't a substance, it comes from the earth, earth put it here for us, use it :)
  8. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    Weed is not particularly addictive. You're probably using it for the high or as a mental back-up, and the fact that your friends smoke it too doesn't help either. You have to change how you view weed. Don't let anyone push you into smoking it, and stop relying on it and face your problems head on, sober.

    I threw up on my first spliff, and never touched it again. It doesn't help, it just makes you sick. Other things do help, such as therapy.
  9. Stray

    Stray Account Closed

    I say rehab if you have no willpower. The times you get ill the weed is likely sprayed with something.
  10. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    "How abnormal is that? If something makes you ill you quit but not me. I just couldn't stop. I still can't."

    Very normal, unfortunately. It's easy to get dependent on something. Alcohol makes people sick and it's a depressant, but people get addicted to it. Most people don't like cigarettes or alcohol at first and they basically force themselves to get used to it.

    What is weird though, is what it's doing to you. Weed doesn't cause a physical dependency (it sounds like an emotional dependency though). Are you sure there's not something else in there? I've heard that some people mix marijuana with stronger drugs.

    "Trying to tell yourself weed sucks is like trying to tell yourself sex sucks, its great enjoy it.

    It isn't a substance, it comes from the earth, earth put it here for us, use it "

    Not that I don't agree, but I just wanted to point out that poisonous berries come from the earth too...XD

    I honestly don't think pot is for everyone, if it's making you miserable anyway. I think telling yourself it's bad and then shaming yourself will only make it worse too. It'll only make you feel bad about yourself, make you feel weak, then it's harder to fight the urges.

    Avoid thoughts like "I need it", it only makes things harder.

    I've asked my mom about it (she's a nurse), and she thinks you should try to wean off it. Increase the amount of time between each joint. She also says that you should start taking anti-depressants (if that's what you were taking it for in the first place. Marijuana slows down the thoughts, so it makes depressed people feel better).

    "It's not the weed making you paranoid, your just a paranoid person."

    Actually, it can increase paranoia.
  11. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Rude>
    As a serious response, its a very potentially abusive substance regardless of what some say. Its very difficult to brake something like that, is there maybe a place like group therapy where members suffer the same problem you can go to or something?
  12. Infinite Sadness

    Infinite Sadness Well-Known Member

    umm, I used to think like you, I really did.

    The earth put cocaine here too, and heroin...LSD?
    I see what you are saying, it's readily smokable, whereas the other three have to be refined but really, drugs don't agree with everyone.

    I was actually physically addcited to weed. I used to think the way most people who read about it in textbooks do that it's not possible to be physically addicted. But tell me then, why I could not find a wink of sleep without it, why I was having night sweats, my mind was a puddle of mud for two weeks, even three afterward. Why when I would try and quit it, I would have crazy emotional disturbances? I am not 100% convinced that weed isn't in some way physically addictive. This was grown by sources very cose to me so I know it was not sprayed ..

    And yes, wed can most definitely increase paranoia, especially in those persons who have mental illness.
  13. steveoh

    steveoh Active Member

    the best thing to do is talk with your parents, everyone has different interests, im sure the only reason you love it is because its fun and harmless, the best thing to do is only smoke when your with friends and never alone, it saves lots of money and keeps your mind from thinking about life problems.
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