I love my life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dany, Jun 30, 2007.

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  1. dany

    dany Member

    As I said in the title, I love my life as a love a kick in the balls. Shame I missed that part out of the title heh?

    Afterall a person who spends his entire life devoted to what is a virtual reality and a game which I prize over anything else, despite finding it boring and dull should be an amusing introduction already to who I am.

    Oh the fun of it all, waking up at 11 AM, playing World of Warcraft constantly all the way to 3 AM with just taking a toilet and food break when needed, hell the only reason i'm writing this post is because i'm waiting for twenty four guys i'm raiding with to get back to their keyboards. Mr. raid leader, the guy with no life who commands these guys, tells them what to do, when to do it and devises tactics for these bosses which take strategic planning will be me, the bossy eighteen year old nerd shouting out of the other end of a microphone.

    Such a pity I do not find that fun, nor amusing, actually I find it pathetic, pathetic that even these other people when they aren't on the game actually do something else par from sleeping; it aggravates me when they talk about sex with random whores on many different levels or just simply talking about things they do outside of the game.

    I must admit though, getting outside clears my head when I get to look upon a river or such and think to myself "hell let's jump in" pfft.. I even went there late and night and stood staring at it for half an hour before I realized I didn't have the balls for it and went home.

    To have a change of what I do etc would be fine sure, however everytime seams to bore me or annoy me, people in general when I see them I think upon the people who abused me in the past, beat me or well... i'll leave the details out, it amazes me that therapists tell me to mix with other people, how the hell can I do that when I don't even dare to talk to someone who can physically harm me? I prove what whimp I am and just walk away, not look at their face of simply start an arguement with them, they will bore me anyway.

    Well, atleast sometimes I get a small break from "playing" the game when I can reflect upon the past, seeing me rather enjoying what was my daily fights at school or maybe how humanity as a whole disgraces me and never fails to betray me.

    Bah! i'm so stupid right now I can't even wright properly; but I really am amazed at how pathetic I am and read the amount of replies telling me to fuck myself, I look forward to it but you best be fast as sooner or later, I might just grow them balls I need to end it myself.
     
  2. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    I can relate, I'm a full time loser that plays Guild Wars 90% of the day.
     
  3. mykindofpain

    mykindofpain Guest

    what state are you in?
     
  4. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :hug: :hug:
     
  5. dany

    dany Member

    I'm constantly feeling angry at myself, I have a constant headache for a few days, trying to escape any contact from anyone else, seeing myself useless and I am feeling destructive which the last one is rare of me.

    I suppose the main cause of this heightened stress is due to me giving a "old friend" a piece of my mind, though I know what she did to me and that she was using me I suppose in my mind I still wish things could of worked out, desperately hanging onto someone who used and abused me *sigh*.
     
  6. dany

    dany Member

    Fuck it, seriously why the hell can't I do anything right? no luck in killing myself eariler :mad:
     
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