i love you all

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by vbuk, Sep 1, 2007.

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  1. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    ok so im scared. im petrified. i dont know whats going to happen. all i want is to die. ive not felt so sure. i just cant do it. im fed up of all the crap thats always beating me down. im a human punchbag (emotionaly - nobody hits me physically). ive let everyone down and its time to go. last night i did some bad things. i tried to help someone and i know it wasnt good enough. i had a massive panic attack - freaked out and ran away. it still hurts when i breathe - that means i should just stop. i started searching the net for things i shouldnt have but not going to talk about that for obvious reasons. i fell to bed at 3am. im still shaking.

    next week im having an op on my wrist. all i keep thinking is i dont wake up. and right now i hope i dont. i dont belong in this world anymore. i know it will be for the best.its all falling down.

    you can all be happy when ive gone. all those that ive hurt im sorry. all those that have hurt me im sorry.

    jacque - u will be forever in my heart - i love you dearly.
    joe - your the greatest friend - i dont know what id of done without you- i love you
    robin - your always there - god bless you - i love you
    sarah - i dont deserve you - your amazing - i love you
    mp - im sorry i failed you - i do love you

    everyone here - i love you dearly.

    im sorry if i dont break through this. i dont know what to do

    i love you

    Clare xxx

    ps - sorry if its bad to single people out - but i these are like family.

    god bless
  2. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    Hunny, I love you. Please talk to me.
  3. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    We won't be happy you've gone Clare.. :hug:

    I know you're scared about the operation, but you will wake up :) - you won't even know that the operation's happened - it's just like a light switch, I've found: one minute, you're sitting there, the next, is 2 / 3 etc. hours later, and it's all over :)

    We love you too, and we're not gonna let you go :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 1, 2007
  4. JustWatchMeChange

    JustWatchMeChange Well-Known Member

    Hang in there, things usually improve. Nothing stays the same. I've let my family down big, but now I have to change and be there for them. BTW, I'm sure Abacus meant to say We won't be happy you've gone Clare..
  5. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    I did indeed :laugh: - thanks JWMC! - have now edited it.
  6. Beret

    Beret Staff Alumni

    Hope you feel better soon and a speedy recovery on ur wrist op
    Lots of love,
    Beret xxx
  7. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    I'm sure the OP will be successful. Good luck and hope things get well for you.
  8. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    im sorry. i dont know how much more i can take. just wish i was a better person im sorry
  9. JustWatchMeChange

    JustWatchMeChange Well-Known Member

    Don't know how much more I can take either, but on the other hand I do know. Whatever life hands me. I'm no Nostradamus, so I'll hang in here and see what happens.
  10. sarahg

    sarahg Well-Known Member

    clare my darling the 1 person that says it straight to me
    ive put on u so much,but will sort it all for u ,u watch
    there is no better-big heart,the time u give,the love u spread and the confidence u share to us
    lewis gave me big cuddle from u ty
  11. me1

    me1 Well-Known Member

    Hugs Clare, plz stay safe.
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