So this is gonna sound hokey... I've been reading this book about a Hawaiian method of shifting oneself out of negative thought patterns & circumstances. I thought, yeah, right! But it's working little by little; sometimes huge positive shifts within me/in my brain have occurred, & I've felt total bliss - a "zero state", which feels way better than wanting to die at every moment. I mean I am truly depressed, and yet this has provided me with some relief. Say to yourself, "I love you" over & over again. You're really saying this to the Divine which is in you. I love you, I love you - even to the part of yourself who wants to die & feels so hopeless. It feels as if you're embracing this depressive part & it seems to like this & the negative voices get softer. Sometimes they even vanish. It's a constant repetition that cannot be stopped, otherwise the depressive thoughts come back. I notice that when I stop saying, I love you, it comes back. It's hard to do; it may even make you cry, you may not even mean it at first, but it seems to work. I'm struggling to keep this going and fall backwards a lot. Today is particularly hard, but when I resume the I love you's, it gets better again. It's hard work that's for sure, especially when I'm used to saying the opposite to myself & about my life. After you get used to, "I love you", they say to repeat the below constantly, and I mean like a broken record: "I'm sorry" "Please forgive me" And "Thank you". "I love you". It's as if you're saying I'm sorry for everything that is happening, thereby taking full responsibility for it all. After all, I can't continue to blame my depression & suicidal thoughts onto any thing or anyone anymore. Please forgive me... I'm saying this to myself really, but also to the Divine. They call this, "cleaning". Thank you... You are forgiven! You can now forgive yourself & this helps to make this happen - automatically. It also helps if you're holding a grudge to keep that person in mind. I'm sorry, please forgive me... Thank you...and so it is done. I love you completes the circle. It can be about someone else, or you. Usually it comes back to being about you/me. Even if you don't believe that you're sorry, or that you love anyone even you, it somehow seeps in & helps & I can't explain how. It just does. The proof is in the pudding, so try it & report back. You must be like a broken record saying this in your head all day long about anything that comes up - anything that triggers you. It's pretty amazing though very difficult at times. I got anxiety attacks when i first began this, but they say this is normal. It's cleaning out stuff. That goes away & you're replaced with peace inside - about everything. No analyzing necessary. It just shifts you. I love you.