I loved him .. but ...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by CRUSHED, Dec 21, 2007.


    CRUSHED Well-Known Member

    I really did love him; our relationship lasted for two months and a half. I felt something was wrong, but I was in denial. He was the perfect match for me, and he knew that.

    I love him soooo much that I am ready to die for him. But the other day he told me that he is still in love with his ex-girlfriend and can't get over her, but he wants to forget her.

    And he said that he loves her so much that when he gets married he is going to tell his children “I loved a woman before your mother”. He said he tried everything a human being could do to forget her, he even went to a shrink, but still he couldn't forget her. Although, she gave him nothing, she stepped over him, and I gave him everything he could ever ask for. He said those words with his own mouth.

    I kept asking him how could you do this to me? Why did you make me love you? He said I wanted to love you. I kept asking him how could you? How could you?

    Now, I want to forget him. It has been two days so far. I can't taste the food; I can barely carry my self. My heart keeps calling out his name. I deleted all his emails, his pictures, his number, I deleted everything. I even put everything he ever gave me in a bag and I’m planning to throw it later.

    I want to forget him. I don't think I could find anybody as great as him. I lost an angel. I lost my soul mate. Other times I think I could make him forget her and love me.

    When the arrdument happened I kept telling god forgive you.

    What can I do?
    Somebody please HELP ME:sad:
    It hurts so badly
    Even if I get over him, can I ever love again?

  2. Snooze

    Snooze Well-Known Member

    I know EXACTLY how you feel :hug:
    the main reason why I even found this forum was because of a similiar problem.

    its been a couple weeks for me now.

    Lets both do our best to carry on and make our ex'es know what a treasure they let go!

    If you ever need to talk or whatnot ill be around :)

    CRUSHED Well-Known Member

    He told me that I should be proud of my self because i'm a great woman. Then I told him you have just lost a person who was ready to die for you. He said I know.

    I don't know if I could last two weeks or even more. I want him back.:sad:
    I miss him, and I'm wondering what is he doing right now. We used to chat at this time.

    Tell me, does it get better??
  4. Snooze

    Snooze Well-Known Member

    It gets better :) I promise!

    Alot of people have gone through this and the biggest mistake is to stay in self pity. I know you're pissed off at me right now for saying this, I remember I was when my friends tried to "comfort" me , but its actually very very true.

    I pretty much said the same thing you did when we broke up *sigh* (it was another guy for her) , told her I would have done ANYTHING to keep her happy.

    Im not sure how much different these feelings are with guys / girls but I was deeply in love with her. (We both thought we were each others soulmates)

    The whole 'we would be chatting right now' thing is far too familiar for me, the first days were hell to me too.

    Its been a few weeks and I feel alot better compared to the first days.
    I admit still miss her but I realized that if she picked someone over me, when I was being myself, she couldn't have been my Soulmate , The One or whatnot.

    Im gonna lift my head up and find someone who loves me the way I am and whom i'll love the way she is, after a short uhh, resting break.
    ( I know theres someone like that for every one of us if we just keep looking )

    Im getting more happier and try to spend as much time as I can with my friends, watching movies and having a hobby to spend my time on something else than thinking about her. And it's working!

    I know you'll get over it!
    It seemed impossible for me at the beginning too.

    ok this ended up being kinda long and korny.
    I wrote this while feeling really blue (its not because of Her) so it's propably crappy and doesnt sound as positive it was suppose to be, but yeah I truly mean it. You will get over it no matter how painful it feels right now..

    As I said earlier I'll be around if you need me, questions or whatnot , im pretty sure you will be going through same stuff I did.

    You are not alone! :arms:

    Thanks for reading!

    CRUSHED Well-Known Member

    I like what you said here, very true. I talked to a few friends, plus YOU:arms:, and I feel much better- I feel stronger. My friends told me you deserve someone better, someone who really loves you, and would never hurt you.

    Well, thanks to you Snooze I don’t feel alone anymore, but it still hurts a lot. I still have high hopes that he’ll call me back.

    All I’m hopping for now is to restore my faith back, and someday love again.

    This reminds me of a quote for Hellen Keller "The world is full of suffering; it is also full of overcoming it"

    Thank you Snooze. YES we can do it. I can feel it.

  6. Snooze

    Snooze Well-Known Member

    :biggrin: Haha im glad I could help! (I actually smiled when I read ur doing ok!)

    I know it still hurts, I guess its only natural

    You will feel better and better every day!

    :barmy::badger::loopy::bunny: 2008 :barmy::badger::loopy::bunny:​
    Is gonna be a happy year!​

    You have a great attitude! Keep it up! :thumbup:

    CRUSHED Well-Known Member

    You SMILED

    Thank you Snooooooooooooze, it ment alot

    YES it will be a happy year. We deseve it for sure

    I feel like sleeping now. Its been two days and i didn't sleep well.
    Thankx man - I wish you the BEST of 2008.

    cheers :night:
  8. the_juggalo

    the_juggalo Account Closed

    i know u feel ive been single for 1 day now and it hurts alot makeing me resort to old habbits but still gave her every thing she ever wanted then she just broke my heart :sad:

    CRUSHED Well-Known Member

    It's the theird day
    How could he do this to me?:sad:
    He looked into my eyes and said I love you, let's live together forever.
    He has been hurt before, how could he do it to me? He knows the pain.
    I can't stand it anymore, I want it to go away:sad:
    There's no life without him. What's the use?
    I feel so alone
  10. Snooze

    Snooze Well-Known Member

    mmmhm, i know.. we were already naming kids and whatnot ...
    she made me promise to love her forever so many times , and then she does something like this :(

    her lies about the reason why she left me made me very close on killing myself. i was so full of quilt and hated myself.

    a week ago our mutual friend told me it was another guy after all, even after i begged her to tell me the real reason for the break up.

    im going to bed now but ill be here all day tomorrow


    but honestly im getting through this pretty nicely , i was just like you the first days though.
    i admit i still say "I love you Tanya" out loud from time to time and i have no idea why

    Good night for now :)

    CRUSHED Well-Known Member

    I just woke up a while ago. I feel better today, at least I cry less everyday.
    For the past two nights I’ve been dreaming of him, that he came back to me and said lets make it work, we were married and in love …etc.
    I’m afraid I’m giving my self false hopes; maybe that’s why I feel better.
    I can’t throw his stuff away yet, even our chats online I still save them on a CD. Maybe he’ll come back.
    I feel sorry for me.
  12. PontyCruizer

    PontyCruizer Well-Known Member

    im in a simalar boat - thats y i joined herecos i thought i had nothing left after my ex was telling me via phone/text and msn she loved me and wanted to marry me WHILST she had another guy in the house i called home!!

    its been 3 weeks now - im alot better so i KNOW u will be too

    i dont even cry nomore - i miss her millions and love her billions but she cant love me for her to do that - ive deleted all her pictures etc etc andi feel better - i get worse on a night tho cos thats the time i held her as we fell alseep but i get pissed off knowin theres another guy in my bed wi her!! -

    thankfully, you dont have this so i know you will be ok - we was together 7-8month and i would love to have married her so know how u feel - i didnt eat for 5 days after she told me bout the other guy - cried everyday for 2 weeks - i aint cried for a week now but wish i could cuddle her but tbh - i dont want to nomore - its a weird feelin - i hate her for the way she treated me but i cant get her out my head

    things will get better for you - i know its a cliche that time is a great healer but its true - it really is

    take care hun x

    CRUSHED Well-Known Member

    The seconds away from him feels like years. Why do I still love him even thou he hurt me and used me. He clearly told “I’m still in love with my ex-gf, can’t get her out of my head, she took my heart with her, but still I won’t go back to her...etc”. Why do I greave on someone who doesn’t love me the way I love him? Why shed more tears for nothing? Being sad won’t bring him back to me, and it won’t help me stand up either.
    It’s funny. I’m aware of my situation, but my heart won’t let go.

    @ PontyCruizer

    Do you feel you could love again? If she comes back to you would you accept it?
  14. Drifter

    Drifter Well-Known Member

    I absolutely know what your going through. I broke up with the girl I've only ever been with and we were together for a few years. I'm not going to lie, it permanently messed up. Its been a while now but since then I havent cared about relationships or love, I still linger for someone I can be with and love but it still hurts. It was her fault just like it was his fault in your relationship with him. I dont think about her anymore and I actually feel relieved I no longer talk to her, having someone like that in your life is unhealthy. To this day I dont care about relationships but thats the path I choose, you never know what the future holds though.

    CRUSHED Well-Known Member

    @ Drifter
    Why choose that path, you can love again. I'm starting to feel much better, but I still think of him. Yesterday I even had a sex dream about him, but it wasn’t good at all:sad:. In the dream he dumped me again, but this time for a guy! Weird I know.:eek:hmy:

    I met this other guy, but I still couldn’t attach emotionally to him. He smokes and has a bad temper. Although those things matter to me, but when we talk all I could think of is my ex-, and I say “Nobody is ever going to be great as he was”. It’s hard to focus on anything else but him. I’m angry and I still love him.

    But honestly I feel better:biggrin:, and someday I will recover and love again, and so should you Drifter.

  16. Drifter

    Drifter Well-Known Member

    No no crushed this isnt about me (thanks though:cool:). I was just saying the pain you have now, it will pass, then its up to you to choose the path you will take.

    CRUSHED Well-Known Member

    It’s soon to be New Year 2008. It was supposed to be our first new year to celebrate together, but where is he now. I keep thinking and wondering what is he doing now. Is he thinking about me too?
    I feel horrible and sad.
    I miss him so bad.
  18. Madeleine

    Madeleine Member

    Dear CRUSHED, I know exactly how you feel. The same here. :hug:
    The worst part is that in spite of the way he treated me, I feel anger but at the same time I still love him more than anything in the world.
    I am so angry also because in the beginning of our relationship I was the one indifferent but he convinced me with his promises and words about a great future together. Words like "I've never met anyone like you and I am aware that I will never find someone like you again. I feel that my place is wherever you are." And finally, when I began to love him more than life, he announced me that he didn't feel the same and it's time to move on.
    He betrayed my soul.

    CRUSHED Well-Known Member

    We’re both in the same boat :hug:. I hate him and at the same time I still love him. He told me a lot of things like
    “My love for you is like a child, I’d write your name all over the walls, play with sand, and chase doves for you, I imagine my self swinging off a rainbow”
    “When I see you strong, I become the strongest, when I see you weak; I’m left with no power”

    He writes poetry. He used to write me poetry. Before I met him I had lost all faith in men, but since I met him and knew him, I felt the world is going to be ok. I remember the first days we were together, he asked me can you forgive me if I did something wrong? I told him I can forgive anything except for one thing. He said: what is it? I told: Betrayal. Then at that dark day, the day where it all ended, I told how could you? You betrayed me. He said: No I didn’t, I’d never do that. I told him yes you did, you betrayed my trust. I hate him for this, that’s why I can’t move on yet, I don’t know how to forgive him, I can’t forgive him.

    He also told me “I’d never find a woman like you”. Weather he believes it or not, I know for sure that he will never find someone to love him the way I did. But for me, I don’t know if I’m ever going to find someone at all. I’m losing faith day after day. Slowly, I’m dieing inside. My light is fading. I’m fading.

    He betrayed my soul and stepped all over me. While he has no problems stepping over the bitch that don’t even love him, she left him for another man. She’s stupid also for not loving him. He is a catch. He is a once in a life time.

    Oh god, why am I still breathing. It hurts so bad to live without him. Why me? WHY.:sad:
  20. Madeleine

    Madeleine Member

    A place where we both live now, CRUSHED. I've listened to this so many times as just a simple nice song - but now I feel so painfully every word of it:

    Well, since my baby left me,
    I found a new place to dwell.
    It's down at the end of lonely street
    At heartbreak hotel.

    You make me so lonely baby,
    I get so lonely,
    I get so lonely I could die.

    And although it's always crowded,
    You still can find some room.
    Where broken hearted lovers
    Do cry away their gloom.

    You make me so lonely baby,
    I get so lonely,
    I get so lonely I could die.

    Well, the bellhops tears keep flowin,
    And the desk clerks dressed in black.
    Well they been so long on lonely street
    They ain't ever gonna look back.

    You make me so lonely baby,
    I get so lonely,
    I get so lonely I could die.

    Hey now, if your baby leaves you,
    And you got a tale to tell.
    Just take a walk down lonely street
    To heartbreak hotel.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 1, 2008