I`m a stich away from making it and a scar away from falling apart

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by poeticxxxtragedy, Mar 5, 2007.

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  1. poeticxxxtragedy

    poeticxxxtragedy Active Member

    I have to fucking siwm in PE tommarow.
    Not only is it emmbarssing for a fat ass like me to get in a bathing suit but now people have to see my fucking legs that look like they came out of a damn horror movie. So what do I do when I get home? I CUT MORE! then about an hour ago I did it more. ugh. what the hell is wrong with me seriously. :dry: My mom wont get out of her bed, my sister has been laying in a hospital bed for the past 4 days, my dad is never home. ughhh =[. I cant talk to anybody about this. They don`t get it. I bring up cutting twice to my so called bestfriend and she gives me the :poke: :mad: the fuck is wrong with you look. I just wish I could talk to someone about how bad it gets. =/. gahhhhhh. I suck at life.
  2. Lost Disciple

    Lost Disciple Well-Known Member

    Well, I think all the things you listed are *probably* exactly what's wrong with you.

    The good thing in your situation is, you actually get to swim! I wish we could do that in Phy Ed... I love the water... And more good new is, people actually don't look at your legs in swimming as much as you'd think (experience speaking). It doesn't seem like you have much of a choice so... try to just go with the flow and not worry so much, if that's possible.
  3. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member


    Lately my anxiety has been too bad for me to go out and swim, but when I started getting depressed I was told to get back into some kind of physical activity. Now, the only 'sport' I'd ever really liked (that I could do alone, at any rate) was swimming. I bought membership to my local pool straight away. In the meantime, my self harm progressed, and my thighs got pretty awful. I bought some swimming shorts (not like guy's ones, like girls' board shorts) to wear when I went to the pool.

    No one even seemed to notice I was wearing them, so they did the trick really well :smile:.

    The pool I go to is a private one, so they don't have lots of the rules that public pools do. I know I've been asked to take off board shorts in public pools before (I often used to wear some just out of preference). But I imagine if you told the lifeguard/whatever that you have scars on your leg from an accident, and that you're really self-conscious about it, then they'd be okay with it.

    I imagine if this swimming is with school, it's some kind of teacher who's in charge of that kind of thing. Is there a teacher you trust that you can sort of explain things to so that they let you wear shorts or do something different to swimming? Do you have a psychiatrist? If you do, then they could write you a Medical Note to explain, and your teacher couldn't go against that even if they wanted to.

    Now, I know this post is long enough already, but I guess if there's stuff I can say that just might help you, then I should say it. Hope you agree :tongue:.

    I want to let you know that I know exactly where you're coming from about the self harm. And particularly about the self harm in the wrong places or at the wrong times. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed that we don't really 'think these things through'. I mean, if we had that capability then we probably wouldn't be self-harming in the first place, would we.

    You say you can't talk to anyone about your problems, and about the self harm. I'm sorry that your best friend hasn't exactly been supportive. I guess people find it hard to understand, but that's not an excuse for her making you feel even worse :hug:. You can talk to me (if you want to). Let it all out. I think I 'get it', in a way that people who haven't been through similar things wouldn't.

    Don't suffer alone, even if you'd rather not talk to me specifically you can always post on here and we will all try to help you through the bad times. :arms:

    Hope you're doing okay...

    :hug: x
  4. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    How's it going, hon'?

    Thinking of you :hug: x
  5. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    I was going to suggest wearing shorts, but someone beat me to it. If you ever need to talk, PM me. :]
  6. poeticxxxtragedy

    poeticxxxtragedy Active Member

    <3333 thank you guys a lot for the replies they really mean a lot to me. no kidding. i just wore a really long tee shirt. i dont exactly have friends in that class so nobody seemed to notice thank god =].
  7. Lost Disciple

    Lost Disciple Well-Known Member

    Glad it worked out!!:laugh:
  8. Beret

    Beret Staff Alumni

    Glad you didnt get any problems
  9. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Really pleased it was okay :smile:.

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