I said that if things don't lookup by the end of September, that i would take my life. Well, it's the last day of the month and I feel like my life is no better, and I don't want to live because there is so much pain, but I'm afraid to take my life. I know that means I'm a coward for not having the courage to do so, but I'm stuck fearing what happens once you do take your life, and living a life that has no meaning or purpose. The past two years have been so painful and I am afraid the scars will never heal. i'm sorry, for saying all of this, but i'm just stuck and hurt.