I made my mom cry...

[Things]

If anyone's read my last post (I don't blame if you didn't), you'd know I tried to call the suicide hot-line. I didn't manage to use the phone right and I ended up taking a nap instead.

Sometime after I woke up, I tried to figure out what I did wrong. I asked my mom about it and told her I tried to call someone. Even later, she asked me who I was trying to call. I told her the truth.

She cried.

It's hard to make sense of everything we talked about. She said she felt useless because she couldn't figure out how to help me. I tried to backtrack, convince her I was fine, but I knew it was too late for that. We talked to my grandma about it, and I think we have a plan now.

Still, I wish I hadn't said anything. I feel like I wasted all her efforts. She still seems upset. I feel even worse about myself now. I didn't want to share my misery, especially with her. She struggles even more than I do...

I messed up bad, didn't I?

 

[nolonger]

You didn't mess up at all. Maybe you were ment to tell your mum? Well that's the werid way I sometimes see things. I hope your plan really works for you, it's good that your relatives have gotten on board and shown their support .

My mum's a bit like yours....a few years back when she found cuts on my wrist she basicly screamed at me "YOU KNOW YOU CAN TALK TO ME ABOUT THESE THINGS!" in an emotional kinda of way. But I just don't feel comfortable sharing my problems with my family, I don't know why. I just don't :dunno:.

I hope things get better for you , good luck!

 

[Things]

I feel the same way. I've always hid my problems.

Thanks for the post.

 

[UnkelHeit]

We don't know each other and I didn't see your last post so forgive me if I'm way off base. Aside from upsetting your mother, it sounds like a good thing if you have a plan now. They can help keep you safe now. The initial reaction from your mother may have been sadness but I'm sure that quickly turned into concern. It's hard for us to "burden" other people with these things. We have to, though, or we'll never get to where we need to be. I hope the plan works out.

 

[Viro]

From your post, it sounds to me like you did the right thing.

 

[Things]

It helps to hear that. Thank you both.

Still...I just hated seeing her like this and not knowing how to fix it.

 

[UnkelHeit]

I understand. In the future they'll be happy they did find out because they'll still have you around. It's tough trying to balance not wanting to weigh others down with these things with knowing you have to. I'm just glad to hear you have a supportive family.

 

[Things]

True. I'm very thankful to have them.

 

[IV2010]

YOu did exactly the right thing telling your Mum so she can help you.....
better she's a bit emotional and have you here than the devestation of losing you altogether.....
please keep confiding in your family...