I had been having pretty solid suicidal thoughts for a few months back in august.
I<mod edit - method>I had a lot of scenarios like that in my head. I didn’t allow myself to think too deeply about it though. The thoughts just floated in and out in an isolated way.
Never once in my mind I thought something external could do anything for me, I’m terms of having these thoughts or feeling depressed. But then I met someone so pleasant... it managed to distract me quite a bit. My bf is a wonderful boyfriend and a great person, but I have isolated myself from friends for some time already. Having a new friend did more than I ever thought some friend could do and it was a nice few weeks before I managed to screw it up for myself (can anyone say...self sabotage?)
And without fail, the thoughts came back slowly and I’m back to square one. It seems kind of childish to me to feel this way because I can’t speak to a specific friend anymore. In my head it’s not about not having that friend either, it’s just about everything else now. I feel like even if I somehow talk to that friend again or found another friend that I’ll still feel this way. I’ve set myself in this more solidly now, kind of dig myself in these thoughts deeper and deeper
I<mod edit - method>I had a lot of scenarios like that in my head. I didn’t allow myself to think too deeply about it though. The thoughts just floated in and out in an isolated way.
Never once in my mind I thought something external could do anything for me, I’m terms of having these thoughts or feeling depressed. But then I met someone so pleasant... it managed to distract me quite a bit. My bf is a wonderful boyfriend and a great person, but I have isolated myself from friends for some time already. Having a new friend did more than I ever thought some friend could do and it was a nice few weeks before I managed to screw it up for myself (can anyone say...self sabotage?)
And without fail, the thoughts came back slowly and I’m back to square one. It seems kind of childish to me to feel this way because I can’t speak to a specific friend anymore. In my head it’s not about not having that friend either, it’s just about everything else now. I feel like even if I somehow talk to that friend again or found another friend that I’ll still feel this way. I’ve set myself in this more solidly now, kind of dig myself in these thoughts deeper and deeper
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