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I Made Up My Mind

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I probably will not see this forum again. It's probabaly going to be done within today or tomorrow.

Life sucks.

It feels like God abandoned me. I have no sense of piety whenever I think of God.

I'm getting kicked out of my parent's home. My classes are overloading my time so it's impossible to get a part time job right now.

I'm 19 years old and Maryland will not let me get a driving license. They made it harder than to get guns in this state.

The only thing that stands on the plus side is good grades. But what alone does that give you? I'm poor, broke, a college student.

Life's horrible. Unless you guys are truely happy, i.e. you guys are not using pills to make your day happy, xxxxxx No sense in living.
If you're successful, have a job that you absolutely love, and still have time to do what you love in life, I guess my opinion is void.

But they make a very small percentage of the population. Otherwise...

If you're a failure, then the sense that you failed will torment xxxxx If you did make it into the corporate society, then you're going to spend the rest of your life in fixed daily routines. Get up, work, sleep. Repeat. Five to six god damn days per week. Til you're 67. Or maybe higher, depending on what the retirement age is in the future. And what's most sad is the fact that you can never make it to the top. You could be the most skilled person in the corporation. Will the CEO, the founder of the company, let you replace him? Of course not. Will he let you succeed after him or his son? You guess.

Your existance makes very little difference. In a world with 6 billion people, there are plenty of people to replace you. It's not like just because you become a M.D. or a lawyer that you're going to save lives and make a benefit in the world. There's always someone else that could do it. There's limited amount of space per institution. If you did not fill up an extra space in the institution, then another person might have entered it.

Look at how tainted this world is.
We have good people dying. Drugged, uneducated idiots are making millions of dollars through singing. The only reason this is possible is because of all the other drugged and uneducated idiots that support them. How is this fair? What about the hard working, diligent people? How about the people that invested so much and tried so hard to learn and educate themselves? Why does life favor druggies over good people?

Also, whatever happened to chastity and innocence? Whatever happened to the idea of loving one person. Having sex with only that person? What is with the orgies, bestiality, anal sex, and casual sex that exists today?
When did humanity adopt this behavior of dogs?

Oh, when the feminists came to power. Nevermind.
Scratch the idea of making men more like women. We should defile the women so they become more like men: lewd and adulterous.

Well, I'm done. I'm just glad I realized this now instead of after. I mean, I sure as hell don't want to live 20 more years before realizing how life sucks.

Good bye! Good night.
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Staff Alumni
Hi and glad you found us...I had to edit some of what you wrote, but I hope I left the sentiment intact...I am so sorry you are finding things so hopeless right now...I am sure there are many ppl here who can relate to those feelings...please stay with us and see that you are not alone...please stay safe and PM me if I can be there for you...although there are so many ppl in the world, that does not invalidate how important you are...please let us support you...big hugs and caring thoughts


Well-Known Member
sadly, youre right.:dry:

but im not going to kill myself,(yet, neway) because i have a guitar that i like to play and music makes me feel good.


The biggest loser ever to live.
You know, I agree with many things you have said.

What I wonder is how is it that so many others don't think about the terrible things in the world and just smile and be happy and do the things they love instead of thinking about the so many wrongs present in the world? Look at all the other fucking college age students that are so happy studying, partying, drinking, etc.

Is it alright to do that?

I'm quite sure that almost everyone would tell you to probably shut up and just smile and be happy in this life.

I just love my videogames to death for example. What if I just drown myself in them instead of thinking about all the wrongs and injustice in this world?


Well-Known Member
if you want to, sure. but sometimes that's hard because u need electricity to play video games, and need to pay money for electricity, and need to work for money, and need to... you get the picture?

this is why i want to be a hunter-gatherer
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Staff Alumni
Hi Nu...since you live in the US, there are many entitlement programs that can help you with the cost of electricity, food, housing, etc. The Department of Social Services in your area will be able to advise you what is available to you...please see a social worker there and see what can be done...big hugs

Multiple Man

Well-Known Member
Stratify, you are a extraordinary young person with a extraordinary mind and a keen sense of awareness not many have. I guess thats why it hurts so much cos we see too much of the truth around us, all the things people do and say. Everyone does it, but noone talks about it. Corruption at every level. Sin in the highest of places. And undoubtedly the end of innocence.

I hope we dont lose you, because your lost will only add to the struggle. Let it kill you, dont let it kill yourself. Look at me, im the worse one. Have no idea why im still alive. Hate myself, hate life, hate the world. But, there is some good left in this world worth living for. Like you.


Well-Known Member
your right about most of what you said. but I think sex with more than one person is natural. life sucks yeah, its easier just to die :( than you rot in the ground :( what a horrible existence.

Emerald Hyperion

Unknown Mystery Person
I agree with everything you said, Stratify.

Zohmygob hit the nail on the head too... I feel like offing myself right now. I get so depressed looking at everyone else around me... they never look like they never scratched the surface of what it's like to be depressed and suicidal.

Only damned thing that's keeping me alive is a girl I love and I wouldn't want to crush her heart by dying... if it wasn't for that I'd still be on my original planned due date for my death.


Well-Known Member
Ha ha wow anger and ranting are fun.

I am right there with you being a failure. I cannot succeed in my grades even. I find no time to do what I used to like doing... I say used to because of recent epiphanies.

Anyway, there are a great deal of poor broke college students out there. You just have to survive, only if you want.

I don't know how much of this will reach you so I will be brief... as for all the other random ranty stuff... you make a good point about feminism... and intercourse... well it is gross and useless in this world anyway so who cares about it anyway.

I don't know what you are looking for....... I wish I could get that much out of you. Well I hope you don't die just yet...... I wanted to die then I found my purpose in existence. It is perfect for me... and you can do the same... hell maybe our existences are the same... I can help you soul search if you like.. just PM me if you want help.


Well-Known Member
i would recommend that you simplify your life as much as you can. i always felt overwhelmed by work in high school and middle school even though i was good at the subjects it seemed like i had no time to enjoy life, so i simply stopped giving a crap about the work and the ppl that were piling it on me.
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