i may be gone in a month

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by cetiya, Nov 4, 2013.

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  1. cetiya

    cetiya Member

    my job is on the line and if i get fired, i will have to kill myself, no other options. my family is dead and my best just died a couple of months ago, so i have noone to help me. i have 3.00 dollars in the bank, if i do lose my job, i'll be living in my car. no money coming in so i wont be able to eat or feed my cats. i'll lost my phone cos i cant pay for it, so how can i look for jobs? plus ive been looking for a second job and noone even called me. i'll have to do something with my cats and then i wont want to live anyway with them gone. i'm scared but what can i do??? there arent any jobs around here and i wont be homeless. sigh
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 5, 2013
  2. fransigne

    fransigne Active Member

    Re: i may be dead in a month

    that sounds awful. i often worry that one day i will find myself in a similar situation. i figure if all else failed there's always work as a maid or at a fast food chain.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Re: i may be dead in a month

    You can go to library and use the computers there to look up job postings that is what i did
     
  4. cetiya

    cetiya Member

    Re: i may be dead in a month

    sorry about the typos, i am using my cell phone.
     
  5. cetiya

    cetiya Member

    Re: i may be dead in a month

    i feel like such a bad mom. i look at my kitties innocent faces and cant believe i'm trying to figure out how i can have them put to sleep if things go horribly wrong. i was such a good mom for over 15 years, but............. i had a major anxiety attack just thinking about being dead in a few weeks. i'm figuring out who to send some of my precious belongings, and things like that. this is all my fault, i hate myself for messing up a good job.
     
  6. ronnymarie

    ronnymarie Guest

    Re: i may be dead in a month

    I don't know where you live, but won't you be eligible for any kind of aide, such as unemployment, welfare, food stamps, etc? Also, you might want to contact any animal rights groups in your area, as some will help provide food, etc for pets. Ask around, or go on-line to see what is available in your area.

    Don't give up yet. Try to find help from any agencies you can find. We've all messed up. Don't beat yourself up, you sound like a wonderful caring person.
     
  7. Ai To Hikari

    Ai To Hikari Active Member

    Re: i may be dead in a month

    Hello.

    It is important to remember this: Your biggest enemy is yourself. Never let yourself fall into the trap of self-hatred.

    We can find the weaknesses in our problems for becoming observers.

    Our issues are like enemies surrounding us. To win, we need to seize the initiative, and strike the enemy that has yet to draw it's sword, and then strike the others and the come at us one by one.

    We can never let them push us into suicide!

    Ai To Hikari.
     
  8. cetiya

    cetiya Member

    Re: i may be dead in a month

    if i get fired for misconduct, i wont be eligible for unemployment. i wont even be able to live in my car, since without a job, my car will be repoed and im not about to live under some bridge somewhere. noone will ever hire me if i get fired from this job, ive had for 9 years, since i got fired from my job before this one too. what a freaken loser i am. the reality that i may be dead in the next few weeks is horrifying. i cant wrap my mind around it. if only i wasnt so alone or broke things would be different. with everyone dead that could have helpled me, i am left with no options. i'm scared.
     
  9. ronnymarie

    ronnymarie Guest

    Re: i may be dead in a month

    Are you sure there is no aide available? Have you checked out welfare, food stamps, etc. (not sure if you are in the US, but would imagine other countries have something along the same lines?) Have you checked the phone book and on line to see what might be available regarding aide?
     
  10. Ai To Hikari

    Ai To Hikari Active Member

    Re: i may be dead in a month

    I need to add:

    We must realize our own value.
    Never forget the miracle of life.
    Even in the worst of situations.
    Yes, the miracle of life is there.

    Ai To Hikari.
     
  11. greenieguy

    greenieguy Banned Member

    If you were able to get one job then im sure you can get another one. People get fired all the time and people that have done really bad things seem to still find jobs. Dont give up on yourself or your cats that think your a great owner.
     
  12. cetiya

    cetiya Member

    well, they are giving me one more chance and then i'm doomed. all i can do is try not to let it happen, not ready to die just yet.
     
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