All I do is just sit around like the mope I am all day. If I killed myself, I don't even think anyone would care. Even better, I think that my mother would be overjoyed at the fact that she wouldnt have to pay for my food or have to deal with me. This coupled with my burning curiosity as to what it is that happens to us when we die really makes me want to do it. The only thing stopping me for now is the lack of an easy to find and effective means to an end.