I messed up

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Loco72, Oct 18, 2008.

  1. Loco72

    Loco72 Well-Known Member

    I messed up so badly last night...I'm a lesbian....and been in a dark depression trying to get over a breakup. Well last night my best guy fried came over and we got drunk. He told me he loved me and one thing led to another and we had sex...This doesn't change that know I'm gay, just that I would let myself do something like that just out of loneliness. He's married, but they have an "open" relationship...ie cheat on each other with each others permission. I'm totally against that and can't believe I did it...I'm such a slut....
     
  2. angus

    angus Active Member

    No you are not, loneliness is a tricky thing. I would say you need to "clear the air" with him and make sure there is no misunderstanding of what it meant. I also think that sometimes when you are feeling low it is easy to get overcome with relief when somone says they love you. I think the mind sometimes thinks someone is better then no one. I hope you feel better soon, don't beat yourself up. :hugs:
     
  3. Loco72

    Loco72 Well-Known Member

    I had a long talk with the guy I slept with over the weekend last night. He told me he loved me and wanted to be a part of my life in whatever form I am ok with, what I need him(he's married, but also in a fucked up marriage(theyre swingers)). We talked and I told him I cared for him deeply, which I do, but I can't be in a relationship with him, physical. I can't put myself in that kind of situation to get hurt. Besides, I'm gay, he's the only guy I've ever slept with, there's something that makes me give in to him. I think it's cause we have such a strong emotional bond. He understands and is ok with it. He said all he wants is to see me happy like I once was, and will do anything to help me. If I need him at 1 am in the morning I need to call him, he's there. He just doesn't want me to shut him out like I did once before(this happened once before years ago). So I think we;ll be ok. For a while I need to be careful , just becuase I am sexually frustrated(I have a high sex drive) and when I drink I tend to lose my inhibitions. SO no drinking and hanging out. He wants to come see me friday...totally platonic, and I think I want to see him too. I just need to be careful and not let my emotions get away from me since I am very lonely at the moment. after the ramble ....ANy thoughts?
     
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I think you might actually be bisexual Loco. :unsure:
     
  5. Loco72

    Loco72 Well-Known Member

    No, I've thought about it for a long time and I'm not bisexual. I do not find men attractive and I do not enjoy "straight" sex.
     
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Sorry, my mistake. So the only reason you had sex with that guy, was because you were drunk?
     
  7. Loco72

    Loco72 Well-Known Member

    basically yeah...
     
  8. Entoloma43

    Entoloma43 Well-Known Member

    Did you know he was married before you had sex with him?

    Cause if you're totally against an open relationship like that, and if you knew he was married, and then had sex with him, it would pretty much make you a hypocrite.


    Sounds like getting drunk is what caused all of this.
     
  9. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    i think she has eplainred what happened... why judge :dry:
    something similar happened to me recently.. if you want to talk pm me

    sam
     
  10. Bonster

    Bonster Member

    Hola. I know you don't know me from Adam, but here goes anyway. I am a lesbian and have slept with guy friends before for exactly the same reasons. Fubar, lonely, and not just needing sex, but the intimacy that accompanies said act. I bet you have a profound lack of intimacy in your life right now, as I am sure many who are here do. We need to be touched, hugged,and kissed in ways that are safe. Who could be safer than a best friend? Not sure if that helps at all, but I do get it and understand. Wishing you well and much hope and healing.
     
  11. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Thanks for posting this. It really helps to understand. I guess a best friend is the 'safest' option.