I might have just screwed up terribly, or done the right thing...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Ozzy Manson, Jul 12, 2011.

  1. Ozzy Manson

    Ozzy Manson Well-Known Member

    well i literally just broke up with my girlfriend, tomorrow would have been our one month anniversary, though technically i broke it off 5 mins before our anniversary. It started as a fairy tale involving love at first sight, i met her two weeks before school was over, and i instantly fell head over heels in love. I thought finally i had found somebody who i could have a meaningful relationship with, and who i truly cared about. But then maybe two weeks ago, out of the blue really i just stopped having feelings for her, and it tore me apart, how could i just stop loving, the love of my life? i still don't understand, we never had a fight, she got me sober and feeling ok. I should be happy? right? i don't know what went wrong, but i do know that now she is hurting badly... the one thing i hate to do to those i want to protect most is hurt them, and i hurt her a lot with out meaning to. On the other hand, some might suggest that is was better for me to break it off now, it is just not right to lead somebody on when you don't really love them, no? perhaps she will be thankful i didnt drag it out later, assuming she will speak to me again. I'm really confused in this whole thing, did i do the right thing? why did i stop loving her? i still somewhat hold hope inside i will go back to how i felt before, but i dont know. I guess this is sort of turning into a rant so i best stop....i would appreciate if anybody wishes to weigh in on this situation or give an opinion...thanks :(
     
  2. Rayne

    Rayne Well-Known Member

    You did the right thing, leading her on would have been cruel.

    I think maybe your perception of love might be a little confused, I hope you don't take offence to that. So early on in a relationship, what you experience is infactuation - it is fleeting. It can be there one day and gone the next, and there is nothing wrong with that. Love is deeper, but quieter and slower.
    I'm not saying you were wrong per se, much like you I've frequently though I was in love when I wasn't. My boyfriend and I told each other we loved each other two weeks into our relationship. Nine months on, we both agree that we were wrong (but not that we were lying, we really did believe it was love!) It wasn't until a few months after we said it that we really fell for each other. You can never explain what it feels like, it's just something you have to feel for yourself.

    Breaking up never feels good. I didn't have feelings for my ex when I split up with him at all, but I still cried about it for a little while. I can't really say why, I just felt bad I suppose. I, much like you, thought I was in love with him. It wasn't until I met someone new and actually fell for them that I realised how wrong I was, that it wasn't even close. I know now that even if my boyfriend and I broke up, I would never stop loving him. I understand why people say your first love never fades.

    You're right - you couldn't just stop loving the love of your life. That must mean that you weren't as in love with her as your thought, and she was not the love of your life.

    You will learn from this. You will move on, and you will grow. And one day, you'll fall in love, and realise the difference.. and those feelings won't fade.
     
  3. Romancer

    Romancer Well-Known Member

    ozzy, whats the situation like now? :(
     
  4. Ozzy Manson

    Ozzy Manson Well-Known Member

    Roro!:hugtackles: not so good. i haven't texted her for a few days now, the last time we texted she was drunk somewhere in another state, had apparently met this girl that she liked, but also saw one of her ex's there. she was asking me which one she should go out with -.- i've been informed also she has been getting rather friendly with the abusive girlfriend she has before me... I'm at a loss for what to think or anything right now, so i've just been keeping off the radar of my friends outside of here :unsure: but one of my good guy friends pulled me out of hiding yesterday for ice cream, and said that i dont need to be worried about her, and if she does get back with her abusive ex, its not like i could do anything to stop her because it was her choice.

    And to Rayne, thanks for your reply, i appreciated reading it and it helped me a lot, thank you :hug:
     
  5. Romancer

    Romancer Well-Known Member

    we all tend to do that, go back to what we know we can have=exes. could be she's trying to make you jealous...is it working? ^^
     
  6. Ozzy Manson

    Ozzy Manson Well-Known Member

    hmm good point...not really jealous, just worried for her safety. i could care less right now if she is with somebody else, she hasn't been nice lately anyways xD
     
  7. Rayne

    Rayne Well-Known Member

    It does sound like she's trying to make you jealous, and maybe even consider getting back with this ex because she knows you'll worry and wants you to play the knight in shining armour. She'll start to get over things with time, but you're doing all the right things at the moment and being extremely mature about it all by the sound of it.

    Sounds like you have good friends, too :)