I know I have posted many times before saying thts and have fucked up each attempt I made. I just got to remember that emotional pain hurts way more than physical pain in the long run, not being able to breathe for a while(method I know, and I'm sorry) and dying that way with the help of alcohol and sedatives I have bought- I took the sedatives earlier today, a family member is home so I drank a couple of glasses of alcohol (Vodka- feel free to edit that out too), nothing else during the day. Before I go to bed I plan on donig this. I am so sick of everything, I know I've been nothing but a burden, not by people on here but by people in my family who are close to me, especially my mother. She claims she planned on having me when she was 33 years old and she did, but because of all the issues that follow this, including medical issues which I have no control over, I'm sick of it. Also, the court situation is still on my mind and I know that woman that is making my life hell(see previous posts for more info if curious)will win the court case, since, yes, as I have been told in the past by real people I know and people on here, I WAS STUPID TO CALL HER. But the fact that I MAY have a criminal record is one thing. I have other reasons too that I want to die, and I won't get into them here, I jsut can't handle them anymore. I look at the positives and try to focus on them, but the negatives still nag me, and I can't take it anymore, and I hope I don't sound too "whiny" or "stupid" by the people who read this, in the past, I had one user rip my head off for venting, so I just want to be safe. Probably the best thing is not to say anything at all, but I think I should say this before I try (and hopefully get) to leave everything, once and for all.