I might leave tonight...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ziva, Jan 29, 2011.

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  1. Ziva

    Ziva Well-Known Member

    I know I have posted many times before saying thts and have fucked up each attempt I made. I just got to remember that emotional pain hurts way more than physical pain in the long run, not being able to breathe for a while(method I know, and I'm sorry) and dying that way with the help of alcohol and sedatives I have bought- I took the sedatives earlier today, a family member is home so I drank a couple of glasses of alcohol (Vodka- feel free to edit that out too), nothing else during the day. Before I go to bed I plan on donig this. I am so sick of everything, I know I've been nothing but a burden, not by people on here but by people in my family who are close to me, especially my mother. She claims she planned on having me when she was 33 years old and she did, but because of all the issues that follow this, including medical issues which I have no control over, I'm sick of it. Also, the court situation is still on my mind and I know that woman that is making my life hell(see previous posts for more info if curious)will win the court case, since, yes, as I have been told in the past by real people I know and people on here, I WAS STUPID TO CALL HER. But the fact that I MAY have a criminal record is one thing. I have other reasons too that I want to die, and I won't get into them here, I jsut can't handle them anymore. I look at the positives and try to focus on them, but the negatives still nag me, and I can't take it anymore, and I hope I don't sound too "whiny" or "stupid" by the people who read this, in the past, I had one user rip my head off for venting, so I just want to be safe. Probably the best thing is not to say anything at all, but I think I should say this before I try (and hopefully get) to leave everything, once and for all.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 29, 2011
  2. loopey

    loopey Member

    * hugs *

    i'm not good with knowing what to say, but you're not alone. i hope you find your way out of feeling so awful x
  3. tappa

    tappa Well-Known Member

    this may be too late but i hope u fail again. once ur gone no one can ever bring u back.
    u may not realise how many ppl want u here...and u may never will if u do this to them :(
    hope tonites lucky for u and u live to see another day
  4. Ziva

    Ziva Well-Known Member

    You must always say that when someone posts a suicidal thread, sorry to seem rude. I just want out, and hopefully, within a few hours, I will die. I just can't deal with anything anymore. If you've seen my past posts you've only seen a GLIMPSE of what I'm going through. If you were me, seizures and all, you would want out too, given the reasons I duscussed in previous posts you can checkout on my profile.
  5. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    I found and read your "To Carol" post, but I'm still not sure I understand exactly what happened with the nurse. Why did she file assault charges?

    Please, don't hurt yourself. Stay up and talk to us. I know you're in a bad situation right now and I know you want the pain to go away. I know you don't feel like it's worth wasting the energy to deal with it, but what you're going through is fixable, and thus not worth killing yourself over. I may just be some stranger on the internet, but we're all on this site because we have something in common. We're all part of a team here. And if you lose one of your team-members, it hurts. Whether or not you know them in person.
  6. Ziva

    Ziva Well-Known Member

    She charged me for why I don't know, she refused to look at my medical file when it was offered to her. And my attempt failed, obviously. And the pain will NEVER go away. I have been dealing with this shit(things such as emotional abuse and feeling suicidal)since I was 12 years old! And I'm now 21 years old, and does any counsellor, friend, doctor or family member give a shit? NO!
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