My girlfriend of 10 years finished me at xmas. She left me a wreck giving me stupid excuses, blaming me. till i got the truth out of her. she has changed because she got this new job...she worked in the same office on her own for 8 and a half years. she never drove and two summers ago got a new job and started driving. since then her attitude changed. she became more independant and felt her freedom. we lived together for two years in her parents house, which didnt help. she never had her own space. But i cant let her go, although we will probably still see each other as friends once i have got over the break up. but I loved her more than live. she is beautiful inside and out. we were so good together. i thought we would be togther forever. i was going to ask her to marry me this year. I cant stop thinking about her and i cant let her go. I miss her so much and constantly dream of her, waking up crying. I had some weeks off work through depression. its her birthday this week and i bought her fave perfume. How could romeo survive without his juliet? I have seriously considered killing myself..but always thought i was stronger. but i dont want to live with the pain its too much. she is out tonight with mine and her girl friends for her birthday and i cant even talk to her at the moment. I love her so much...life since xmas has been a living nightmare. i feel as though i am just existing. i got to the gym alot now...trying to change myself into someone i cant recognise. its the only relief i get. i live with my parents again and my dad is a prick. my mum is bed ridden and my bedroom got destroyed by wind and rain after xmas. My life is unrecognisable and I am seriously considering ending it because i dont want to be happy without her and dont want to let her go. can anyone help? i feel such despair.