E
I miss her so much.
And what hurts me most is that I can't even talk to anyone about it because she's dead. And me whining on and on about it will only make people feel shit because there's fuck all anyone can do.
She's dead. Will never come back. Will never give me that motherly embrace I so long for. Will never give me any motherly advice I so long for. Will never tell me what to do. Will never help me out when I'm in money trouble. Will never tell me how proud she is of me for facing my demons and trying to fight this depression.
Is she proud of me at all? I don't know. I can't know. I'll never know.
Would she have done things differently than me?
Would I have gone to her back in 2004 when I was in trouble?
Would I have told her about S. at all?
Would I have told her about my suicidal tendencies at all?
Would I have talked to her about my problems?
Would she have showed me love and affection?
All questions I'll never get an answer to. Not until the day I die and go to the Island where she will be waiting for me. With S.
I can't do this much longer. I honestly can't.
:cry:
I need her more than ever now. And it hurts more than ever to realize I'll NEVER EVER see her :cry:
I can't do this anymore :cry:
And what hurts me most is that I can't even talk to anyone about it because she's dead. And me whining on and on about it will only make people feel shit because there's fuck all anyone can do.
She's dead. Will never come back. Will never give me that motherly embrace I so long for. Will never give me any motherly advice I so long for. Will never tell me what to do. Will never help me out when I'm in money trouble. Will never tell me how proud she is of me for facing my demons and trying to fight this depression.
Is she proud of me at all? I don't know. I can't know. I'll never know.
Would she have done things differently than me?
Would I have gone to her back in 2004 when I was in trouble?
Would I have told her about S. at all?
Would I have told her about my suicidal tendencies at all?
Would I have talked to her about my problems?
Would she have showed me love and affection?
All questions I'll never get an answer to. Not until the day I die and go to the Island where she will be waiting for me. With S.
I can't do this much longer. I honestly can't.
:cry:
I need her more than ever now. And it hurts more than ever to realize I'll NEVER EVER see her :cry:
I can't do this anymore :cry:
