I left an abusive marriage however my 3 boys the youngest was 15 at the time stayed with their dad. He is from a different culture and they are infuenced by him. They won't speak to me. That was nearly 2 yrs ago and I live with my partner who is wonderful to me. But I can't get over my kids. My eldest son is 20 and is in prison for assaulting my partner. I had such a difficult life in my marriage where I was constantly put down by my husband and two elder sons. But I feel so guilty particularly about the youngest who is 17 now. I feel suicidal all the time. I just qualified as a social worker from uni and have a part time job. I am struggling to keep it all together. I can't get over not being with my kids and can't see the point in life anymore. I just carry on like a robot but I can see the soon I will no longer keep it together and will loose my partber and my job. I am new here. If anyone has had any similar experiences or has had a loss I would like to hear from you