Christmas is always a hard time of year for me because it makes me think of my daughter. She's going to be 4 in January. I've not seen her in 3 years. I feel like I failed her. On the bright side, I know she's happy. I'd just give anything to see her. It'e tearing me apart inside. Always does at this time of year. I always feel majourly awful in January. I'm not sure why I'm posting. I'm guessing it's because I can't internalise my feelings any more. Feel free to ignore this post.