I miss you

If she's still be alive she'd be 52 now. And eversince the day that would've been her birthday I miss her so much. Of course I've always missed her. but it's grown worse and worse eversince the day that would've been her birthday.

I can barely talk about her anymore without bursting out in tears or without having a panic attack or anything like that.
I just don't know how to cope with it anymore. I just dont know. I've never missed her as much as now.

argh, I dunno anymore. there's just so much going on right now and all I want is to curl up into her arms and tell her about everything that's bothering me and I just can't. Cos she's not there. urgh.

How the hell am I ever supposed to be dealing with her death? It's been 18 years and just over 3 months and I'm still not over her. how will I ever get over her?

 

I think you'll find this grief is very much about the way you are feeling at the moment.
You feel everything is going wrong, it's very natural for you to want your mother, the comfort you imagine she would bring, the unconditional love. All of that was stolen from you when she died at such a young age.

Honest hun, when things get better the terrible grief will subside. Yes you will always miss her (I miss my grandfather something fierce) but it's not a crippling grief just a sense of loss.

Sort out all the stuff you need to get sorted. Sleep, eat, get a job and the terrible feeling of loss will abate I promise you. :hug: :hug: :hug:

 

thank you for your lovely words Dev. I know you're right. It's just difficult to get out of the house when i feel like this.

Thanks for the support, means alot to me