On October 13th, one of my best friends passed away. We don't know if it was a suicide. My friend found his body with a plastic bag over his head. I was there, and saw the imprint on the couch of his body. The cd that was on repeat. and I am having a very hard time coping. The last time I saw him, we were yelling at each other. I had told him I didn't want him in my life if he was going to let drugs control his life. A month later, he was dead. I am a 19 year old sophmore girl in college. I feel like I am drowning, and I don't know which way to swim to get to the surface. When Billy died, he took part of me with him. My spark. my desire to be happy. I feel numb. I am angry at him. And myself. and I don't know how to keep going. I'm posting here in a an attempt to find a new way to cope. See what other people have to say, see what other people did. I don't know. I'm so tired.