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I must be crazy

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by NinjaSwan, Jul 16, 2009.

  1. NinjaSwan

    NinjaSwan Active Member

    I really don't get it. My girlfriend and I of 4 months have recently just decided to take a break until school starts up again, with her being busy all the time and me often going out of state. Honestly, meeting her is one of the best things that has happened to me in a long time. I knew I would miss her, but my God I didn't think it would hurt this much. I feel like I'm going to explode with emotion.

    When I had first started to get to know her, I was in a really dark place with my depression running circles around me. I really had no interest in starting a relationship, but her and I became friends and things just happened. The thing that suprised me the most was the fact that she was the only person who didn't treat me differently or judged me when she found out about my depression.

    Now before I got into the relationship, I promised myself that I would not fall in love with her. I promised myself that I wouldn't become too attached. I know that you absolutely cannot rely on another person for your happiness, that it must come within. My therapist and I both agree that I am not co-dependent, and that I am very much an introverted person who likes to do things on their own.

    But somewhere along the way, no matter what I told myself, I fell in love with her, and I really wish I didn't. It hurts too damn much. She was honestly one of the few lights in my world as I have been battling with all this crap, and now it hurts like hell to not be around her.

    I haven't told her any of this, and I don't initiate contact as much because I fear it would scare her away. I have no idea how seriously she feels about me, so I really dunno what to do.

    Anyone have any advice/ideas/suggestions?

    And thanks for reading :biggrin:
  2. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    I would just be honest with her. If its causing you pain to be away from her and not telling her how you feel then it may be best to just tell her your thoughts. maybe try and subtly find out how she feels about you maybe. hint around about how you feel. I would definitley get in contact with her and ask if she meet you somewhere for coffee or something like that and talk to her then.
  3. just.me

    just.me Account Closed

    Last time i had something like this
    after a while the girl told me she cant have relations with me
    (that is after we spent some quality time together and i totally fall for her)
    she then just left, not answering the phone, ignoring on MSN\ICQ and so on...
    this is when i had my first real suicide attempt - end up in the hospital
    good luck with you g\f