I'm 19 years old, white-male, recently opening up about being bisexual. I don't know where to begin. My childhood is blurry, and I remember enjoying some of it. My parents got calls from teachers saying I was quiet and wondered what was going on at home. I've had strong phobias for some reason in early childhood. In middle school I started losing close friends and gained weight from excess fastfood-comfort eating. My mom began stripping and prostituting at a massage parlor. My dad was working at Dennys as a manager. I didn't have anyone, and my parents were overbearing. I started acting out, and becoming very eccentric for attention. I was bullied uncontrollably by wealthy students at my private school whose mother funded the school. Every time a complaint was made it was throw under the rug. My parents didn't switch me out of the school for some reason. I lost all self confidence and self-worth, and decided to lose weight and live as a loner. I desperately just wanted to feel normal. Throughout High School I got severe acne and a case of gynecomastia. Meanwhile I was dealing with my sexuality, which was too scary for me. I managed to rid myself of acne, and put all of my remaining frustration into art. However, I still lack the spark of someone my age. I've met some awesome people in college this past year. Started really opening up, and found some people I really love. I'm at a prestigious art school with student loans. I feel so blessed to be there. However it's Summer vacation and my home life is the same. -worse however because of the economy. My mom is still working at the massage parlor, and I can't find a job myself. I feel like my last shed of happiness was at my school. Being back home is only making things worse for me. Opening up old wounds. I'm finding out a lot of my high school friends abused me mentally and took advantage of me. I've been drinking a lot lately to get though the days. I feel worthless. I just want to be held, and loved. I can't take it anymore. I usually cut my hair to ease pain, but I shaved my head last night. I'm so embarrassed, and I know my parents are going to be furious. I hate them so much. As much as they love me, and I love them... Part of me really hates them. For not taking me fishing- camping- to the beach- Not letting me feel normal- I'm in my room with the door locked, my parents don't know I shaved my head. I don't know what to do. I'll probably tell them, but it's just the last straw. I just want to run away and change my name. I feel like something in my early childhood has been repressed. I feel like there's something that's eating me alive. I don't know how to live normally. Whenever I try to live normally, I always get brought down.