I am suffering from emotional stress... so much has become way too much for me to handle. I even got sick from the stress, but when you're not working you're apparently not 'allowed' to use the word. I am stressed about a bad economy, my failing health; unsure future, no money, the state talking about cutting benefits when I am not even getting by already... my LDR boyfriend suffers from PTSD and brain damage and still struggles getting over some of the stuff about his ex (not her, but it's about him missing her kids)... I am his rock... I'm trying at least! I pretty much forced him to get into therapy and talk to his brother about his issues so he wasn't alone... he might need brain surgery again sometime... my mum's aunt has a failing health... I'm struggling with grieving over my own childhood; growing up with an abusive mum who never let me feel that I was loved, and an unknown father who chose to abandon his 'mistake'. My best friend is having some issues with her boyfriend... she's mentally ill but she's been doing so well since she met him and that has been a big relief to me... Christmas is coming up... and I know I'll get even more stressed. I work hard on getting everything perfect and my OCD sets in... I'm somehow convinced that if I run around like a headless chicken working for 4 people my mum won't get stressed so we'll end in another fight. My aunt is lazy, but able to help... my mum's aunt wants to help but she shouldn't stay on her feet too long... and I end up drowning internally because I feel like I'm doing everything on my own. This year mum told me she's going to make my aunt prepare the roast duck. I am already seeing what a disaster it will be, even convincing her to do it... and I know come Christmas she will have hurt herself or something.. and mum will lose it. And take it out on me... My family just continue to pile stuff onto me... I have tried to tell them I'm not feeling well... but talking emotions with them is just not easy. I am the one they call when people I barely even know have been fired from their jobs or they have to vent about how horrible the world is... or asking if I've found a job yet?? It's never really just to actually care how I am or share some good news... And I can never call them when I have problems. Once again I'm doing it all alone. After last Christmas I ignored my mother for a month. I just can't handle any more. I dread every time my phone rings, and I have knots in my tummy every time I'm taking the train to see them. My boyfriend suggested that I stayed home for Christmas... but I know I'll be so lonely as well if I do that... and then I'll have to deal with months of my family shaming me for it.