I hate always taking over forums and constantly writing on here when no one can really help cause I can't explain myself in writing. I tried to seek professional help and I get canceled on and told to wait another month, FUCk you. I broke a door last night (like just ran right through it), I cut deeper and I got drunk by myself again. I appreciate all the words people have said on this forum but I need to talk to a real person. So I can say all the things I can't get my mind to let me type up. And so they can see the things I say with just my body language. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.