I need advice please ( I can't go on anymore)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by marco4432, Aug 9, 2012.

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  1. marco4432

    marco4432 Member

    Hi All

    I've had 4 failed knee surgerys

    My last OS appointment my Doctor told me I need a new knee, but he said it would be difficult to find a surgeon as I'm 48 years old, the pain is dibilating, I wont be able to work, pay rent , Insurance , Car or morgage, What do I need to do to explain this. I've tried they fob me off, tell me to go to PM Doc, I have been taking every opiode under the sun.

    Please this is what I don't understand with out this I'm done, I will not be able to support my self, I'm just looking for a few more years, some people tell be that they have had a TKR done and wished they had done it years ago, if they perform the operation and it is not successful what difference will it make, if I cant work I cant live or want to why wont they operate while I still can work and pay insurance, I don't understand please any input would be greatly appreciated, I just dont know how much longer I can go on I work as a restaurant manager, Thats the only qualifcation's I have. Surely there must be someone who understands my predictment, any info you can give me would be greatly appreciated, I spend most of my days with non stop thoughts on how to end my life, its not normal , I'm losing my mind

    I saw a phycatrist he said I was borderline to become commited, he said surgerys would work so no need, never told me what to do when surgerys failed, saw a councellor had to lie in fear of being commited and losing my job

    The pain is dibilitating I spend every consious moments thinking about checking out ( THE DEMONS ARE TWO GREAT I'M ON EVERY OPIODE UNDER THE SUN NOTHING WORKS) constant non stop suicide ideation, I can't seem to find a way out its a catch22 dammed if I do dammed if I dont. I cant sleep my mind races with these thoughts, even with all the meds antidepresants, klonopin restoril. Nightmares keep me awake, drugs don't work, I'm so lonley, no familly no friends no one. I'm not looking for sympathy just a little help if anyone has been thru these systems and can give me some ideas, went to ER no help so I left PLEASE PLEASE ANY ADVICE WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED. The pain is to much for me to live with, I drve home in tears due to pain, after a shift, I can bearly use my knee on the accelerator, spending hours on line looking for ways to end my life.

    My apoligies for being a burdon to anyone

    Thanks for your time and consideraton
  2. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    I don't understand why your age should be a factor in the surgery. Someone I know had both knees replaced over a period of several years and was well into his 50's at the time. Keep getting opinions from the surgeons directly, just in case the age factor is only your current doc's opinion.
  3. Joshua2803

    Joshua2803 Well-Known Member


    It sounds like your using a lot of energy worrying. I know it's hard not to but, decide on a logical action to take in solving your medical problem and put mental and emotional energy into that. If that particular action doesn't work try another logical action. The unknown is can be very scary, if we worry about it too much it affects what we can do now.Deal with your issues as they come. Circumstances change and a lot of times things don't turn out as we thought and here we have wasted so much time and energy worrying. As long as your putting an honest effort into trying to solve your problems there is nothing else you can do. All the worrying in the world will not affect the situation for the good. There are many government programs that will help people who are unable to work. Sometimes it takes a while to get them but make that your second job trying to obtain the benefits you need. Keep looking for a doctor who will do what you think is the reasonable course to take. Be willing to except the fact that your life will probably change a great deal in the future due to you illness. Change happens to everyone, it doesn't mean you have to kill yourself. It just means that you have to be flexible.

    The bible says that we are in the last days that are very difficult to deal with. (2 Tim. 3:1-5) It promises that the creator himself will step in to save meek, honest hearted ones (Psalms 37:10,11) Until that time if you learn about God, his name is Jehovah(Psalms 83:18),and develop a close relationship with him. It will help you to cope with the stresses of this life. Here is a very encouraging article to read.
  4. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    There are unfortunately a lot of people who suffer disabilities of a physical nature that make it difficult for them to work. What type of worker compensation or disability benefits have you investigated receiving? Knee surgery is probably more often performed on people your age or older so you age should not be a surprising factor. I hope that you are investigating alternative doctors from those where the previous surgery has not worked. I hope that the new surgery works well for you and hope too that you find a way to meet the challenge and go forward. Best wishes.
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    marco I'm so sorry you're in such pain..chronic pain is debilitating.
    have you sought a second opinion from other surgeons?
    don't give up ok....
    why have the replacements failed before? Is it because of the surgeon? or your body? :console:
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