I need advice...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Fantasy Addict, Mar 16, 2009.

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  1. Fantasy Addict

    Fantasy Addict Active Member


    I'm really worried about myself. I've seen things that weren't there in the past, but I had an extremely terrifying episode last night, and I thought that I was going to die or something. I was lying in bed, and I got this scary mental image of myself lying on the tip of a stalagtite, and it ripped through me, and I was cut in half. It seemed really vivid, and I know for a fact that I wasn't asleep. I started seeing scary creatures everywhere, and I rolled up into a ball, shaking uncontrollably. They kept crawling all over me, and I couldn't move. I don't really know how to explain it well, but it was just really freaky. I know that a lot of other things happened, but it was really weird, and I can't remember everything.

    Anyway, I really want to ask someone for help, but if I do, my parents will send me to a foster home, because they said they don't want to take care of a son that's crazy. I've been super careful, cutting in places that they won't see and stuff, but I'm really scared that something is going to happen to me... It's a matter of continuing like this or getting help and not being allowed home anymore. I don't know what I should do... :sad:

    I want to live at home, but my mom keeps screaming at me when she sees me shaking (I shake if someone else is in the room with me because I get nervous around people.) and she harrasses me about it. I'm also really scared of my dad because I think he's going to hurt me. I'm just wicked confused and frustrated. Ugh... Can anyone give me some advice? Please? :cry:
  2. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter


    hello dear..

    Im sorry to read that you are going to a hard time.
    i cant explain why you got that scary image all the sudden..
    Must have been scary as hell :hug:

    It makes me said to read that your home situation is so messy.
    Does your mom knows how you feel and what happend? does she know what it does to you if she screams at you? how that makes you feel?

    Have you ever talked to someone about how you feel?

  3. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    aah hi collin,

    sorry had to get some info about you to be able to help you better.

    You are 14 right? still so young..

    I know this is easy for me to write but maybe you can talk to a teacher at school or someone adult that you trust.
    You dont have to tell them everything in detail but just tell them that you are going through a hard time and things at home arent going so well..

    In case, lets hope not, everything at home goes wrong, you got someone to back you up at help you out..
  4. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Hey Collin,

    I agree with Sage. Is there not someone at school you can talk with, school nurse or guidance teacher?

    Big hugs :arms:
  5. Melmoth the Wanderer

    Melmoth the Wanderer Well-Known Member

    Wow. It sounds like you had a severe panic attack. I've had attacks when images of death haunt me, especially at night. Does this kind of thing happen often? Do you ever have experiences like the one you described during the day?

    I have social anxiety as well. TBH, your mother is just making the issue worse. I don't want to upset you, but have you considered that maybe you need to be removed from your parents' home? It sounds like they abuse you (and yes, threats are a form of abuse). You need to find people who can help you, and any parent who prevents that is not fit to parent.

    Again, I don't want to upset you. I don't know what I'd do in your situation. But I know that getting the help you need is more important than staying with people who do not take care of you. Listen to Beautiful Disaster and talk to a school counselor. You deserve a better life.
  6. Fantasy Addict

    Fantasy Addict Active Member

    Thank you all. I know that I should talk to someone. I actually do have a therapist, but I only see him once every week, and I get bizarre panic attack things a lot. I don't think my parents know how bad they are, but my mom has seen me when I get suddenly scared of everything, and she doesn't help. She usually just says I'm being stupid and an attention hog or something. Anyway, I'd be too scared to tell her because I don't know what her reaction would be, and I stopped talking to my father a while ago because of some issues we've had in the past. I have my sister, but I can't be sure how much she'll want to listen to me. She has her own life, and she already escaped all of this, so I'm sure she wouldn't want to hear more.

    As for your question, Melmoth, I usually only experience the more severe ones at night, but similar things have happened during the day. And about your other question, I don't know how I would feel being removed. I don't think I have it too bad. Things are stressful, but it's not unbearable. I'd be fine if I had someone to talk to, which is why Suicide Forum is so great, and I get away during school every day.

    Beautiful: Thank you very much. I dunno what my mom thinks, but I don't think that telling her would change much. She'd either yell at me or act all depressed and ignore me for a while. She's not very mature.

    Anyway, I'll think of something. My parents might be getting divorced again, so maybe things will be better if my dad leaves.
  7. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    aah good to hear that you are getting some help..

    I think that your mom doesnt understand you, what happens if you have one of these attacks.. and she thinks you are just acting foolish..

    but its not like you are asking for these attacks.. write her a letter, and be honest with her.. dont spare her feeling, just give it to her straight from your heart, maybe she will understand it than..

    im sorry about your parents..

    You all are going through a hard time.. and maybe your mom has enough on her own problems and is it hard to deal with yours on top of that. Could be, but she shouldnt say things that make you feel sad, thats lame and you dont do that to her either..

    talk to some people on the forum who also deal with those attacks, might help you to understand them better and on how to deal with them.. Its also a relief to know that you are not the only one with that problem..

    so sad that you are so young.. but trust me that the future is bright..

    there will be some bumps on the road that you have to face but in the end it will only make you stronger!

    You're a smart kid collin.. :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 16, 2009
  8. Fantasy Addict

    Fantasy Addict Active Member

    Thank you so much! :hug:
  9. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    ...i'm so sorry for how your parents are acting.
    that must be so scary and painful
    no matter what, the things they say, are not right.

    i hope you do talk to your therapist, and i do hope you are able to work everything out. you are far too young to have to deal with things like this
    please lean on us for support while you are going through this ordeal

    we care very much about you! :console:
  10. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Collin,
    I suffer from augoriphobia and socialphobia amonst other problems.. I have dreams that would scare the hell out of a normal person, but i have learned to accept them for what they are. I don't fear them anymore. Sure they wake me up but I just shrug them off and come on the forum for a while then go back to bed.
    I also see shadows all the time. I have been to all the specialists and no one can explain this to me. So I go with my beleif that they are spirits looking over me.I have different beleifs than everyone here so I don't talk about them.
    You really need to open up to your therapist and tell all. You can't receive proper counseling if you hold back..You aren't being honest with yourself or your therapist..Open up and get the support you need...Take care!!
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