I need contrast

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Axiom, Apr 24, 2011.

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  1. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    I feel like my entire body and mind are at times a warm blurr that I just cant feel motivated to do anything in. I try making myself think through it, but.. sometimes the words don't connect at all.

    I scratch.. alot. On my neck and arms when im feeling whatever I feel. It's gotten pretty bad recently, and scratching just... doesn't make the point clear to me anymore. It's something i've always done. I've cut a few times, but never regularly. Right now I know that contrast will break me out of this state.
    It's a horrible state, I can't differentiate between .. anything. It's like every individual bit is encompassed in everything, and for some reason everything has this particular feeling that I cant snap myself out of. It's a mind fuck about, because reality just isnt hitting me right at this moment. I need a dose of reality... a walk doesnt work because I dont think well when im walking. a fag.... hmm that's an idea ill try a fag.

    Ill try a fag..... .. . :( :( I hate being this stupid. I wasn't always like this you know. Ive made myself like this by being this stupid... I know this is foolish. But it works :S
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi i hope you did not harm you i hope the cigarette help you calm down some please be kind to you okay no self harming hugs
     
  3. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    nm xxx thanks cult logic xx
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 29, 2011
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