i need friends/ a boyfriend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by lotte, Jul 28, 2012.

  1. lotte

    lotte Well-Known Member

    I need a boyfriend. I need someone to hold me and keep me safe and make me happy and make life worth it. i will never be able to find one though, i don't know how. i have no idea. i feel so sick, i can't stop crying. if i had someone to hold/ someone to hold me, i think i would be okay. that's why i really really need one. i need someone to save me. i need someone to care, to really care. i wont ever have one, i don't even know how to keep a friend. i don't know how any sort of relationship works. i need to find someone in this world that i can hug and feel comfortable with it. I try just being really nice to myself, but that never works. I've tried making friends, but i can never keep them. I've made up imaginary friends and boyfriends, they only help a little. I try holding my dog, but she won't even look at me anymore. I've tried distracting myself from the lonliness, I've tried sleeping it away. I don't know what to do, i need to feel better. i need to run away from this evil, but i also need to feel ok first. And besides, even if i had people to be around and care for, there's a part of me that's still too afraid of people to be comfortable with them. I don't know what to do. And i can never tell what others are thinking. I can't tell if they just think of me as an aquaintance, a friend, some random girl that keeps nagging them, the quiet nerd in the back of the class. I can't describe the emptiness. I don't know what to do.
     
  2. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    I am sorry you feel this way, lotte. If it makes you feel better, I need a girlfriend just as bad as you need a boyfriend.
     
  3. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    lets hope you both find someone.
     
  4. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    I can relate to this. All too well.
     
  5. lotte

    lotte Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you guys are going through this situation too :(
     
  6. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I'd also love to finally get into a relationship and have a girlfriend. Its nice that we can at least try to connect on the internet and find people like ourselves. In real life, I only see happy couples together, never lonely, frustrated singles like myself. But what do you expect? The internet is where we can be much more free and open with much more anonymity than in the real, cruel world. I hope you do find someone and maybe I will do, but I don't count on myself. Haha, I always envision eventual, happy endings for everyone here except for myself. :/
     
  7. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    The only reason you feel like you need someone to keep you safe, etc., is because you've convinced yourself/let other people convince you that you're too weak to do it on your own.

    To be honest, and sorry if this sounds harsh, it doesn't sound like you even want a person, you just want a problem-solving machine that will magically turn your depression/angst/misery into rainbows, sunshine and lollipops.

    The good news is that you ARE capable of turning your own life around, but first you have to look at what's wrong with it and find solutions... there is nothing more satisfying than taking control of your own life and fixing yourself up and getting through things.

    Once you can do that, everything else will just fall into place.

    Maybe start with all of those 'I'm such a loser' thoughts... they're not helping. I'm not saying I don't do it too, because in some ways it's perversely satisfying to beat yourself up like that... but it's not going to get you anywhere or help anything. Instead of telling yourself that, just tell yourself 'I'm not going to think about anything', or 'I'm only going to think about gorgeous swirling psychedelic hippie rainbows for the next three minutes'.

    Your mind is often more powerful than your reality.
     
  8. 1112222

    1112222 Well-Known Member

    While I can understand the reason why there lonely people out there who try to find solace with the idea that having a partner will help them... however I must say this to the op if you think that having a boyfriend is going to magically solve all your problems think again. Because if you enter a relationship with this notion then you going to be in a very nasty rude awaking when reality kicks and whatever warn you fuzzy that you would get from being a relationship wares off because you will still be miserable like you were before. Not to mention this whole mindset is unhealthy as it leads to relationships were someone becomes dependent on the other to person to make them happy and feel good about themselves and these sort of relationships never end well.

    Yeah being lonely can really suck but being trapped in a go nowhere relationship where both parties are miserable sucks just as much or if not even more.
     
  9. mark1337

    mark1337 New Member

    I can relate to this too. I never had a girl friend in my whole life. But sometimes when I'm close, I know I wouldn't be a good BF because of my own issues, and because I've been alone too long. Sometimes I feel it would be better to just have someone who is just a friend as girl friend, not someone I have to behave like a BF to, because I don't know what is expected of a BF. Sometimes I'm unable to feel love for anyone, at the same time I know I love a girl. I mean, many days of the week I could treat her well, but the last day if I saw her, I'd be completely different. Sometimes I just fill up with old thoughts of my past, and I'm scared to tell her that I need this time for myself. And I also feel like I would be a better and better BF the longer we would be together as I would gradually forget my past. But how can I find someone who realizes I can have that potential? And if not, how can I become a good BF without ever trying it, or ever having any feedback because I'm not in a relation?

    Sometimes I think I would want someone who doesn't love me too much, whom I don't love too much either. Friends, basically. But we would be there for each others as a BF/GF would be. Maybe that would prepare me for being a real BF. Does anyone else feel like this?
     
  10. synchrohobbit

    synchrohobbit Active Member

    I used to feel like this as well. I thought it was the missing piece. But I have an amazing boyfriend, and I still struggle everyday (although he has no idea). I think people who haven't had sexual or romantic relationships idealize them to a completely unrealistic point. I was lucky because I have always been somewhat of cynic, so I didn't except the whole universe. You say "the quiet nerd at the back of the class," so that leads me to believe you are still in high school. It is so difficult to believe right now (I didn't at the time), but you don't actually want to mess with these boys anyway.
     
  11. Royalsapphire

    Royalsapphire Member

    How are you? Do you feel better?
     
  12. lotte

    lotte Well-Known Member

    :) I talked to my lifelong crush today for the first time. My mom screamed and sweared at me for no reason later in the day, but who gives a damn!!!!! I am so proud of myself for having courage and so happy that he is in my class and my assigned seat is next to him! How lucky is that?! *does happy dance* Now only if i can stop myself from screwing it up...
     
  13. relentles

    relentles New Member

    Hello,

    I know what I tell might not sound right to you !
    But their is someone out their for you !
    Just go out their to find him.
    Go and see a doctor to get you some tablets to temporarily feel better so that you can think straight.

    Think carefully of what would make you happy and follow this path
     
  14. ksmith86

    ksmith86 Well-Known Member

    I'll be your boyfriend lotte :)
     
  15. MMPW

    MMPW Member

    hello everybody. i just got dumped and i feel so miserable and lonely. i dont even know what happened, he just disappeared without a single word. i dont know how to live without him and i dont know what to do
     
  16. TommyTwinCams

    TommyTwinCams Member

    Everything will eventually work out. You just have to persevere. Believe me, I know the feeling.