Hello to everyone... I recently found this site, while looking for help because I am really drifting far away from myself and I am afraid soon it may be too late to turn back if I don't do something about it now. I'm a male, almost 20, from NYC and I have been dealing with depression for a few years now. When I was 16 I was seeing a therapist but stopped because I felt a lot better after a few sessions, and also because I didn't want to get on medication as suggested. The depression went away for about a year, and for the last year and a few months, it has returned, now it's come to the point where I am having serious suicidal thoughts, something I didn't have before. I can almost hear my mind or conscious telling me "you're losing it, you're going crazy" and things like that. Before I remember, when it got too much I'd end up crying a lot and feel better or at least calmer afterwards ... and now I just sort of let it be and get very angry. I find myself more and more violent with each new situation, wanting to hurt others and myself. I really need some help, before I do myself in or hurt another innocent person. I used to be a really calm and easygoing person, and now I am just stressing everything and can't seem to let anything just go, worst of all Ive been thinking of possible ways to leave this life for good but haven't had the opportunity really. What can I do now? What should I do? Thank you for anything.