I need help here....

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by SaraRose, Aug 20, 2012.

  1. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    I have a problem that is causing me anxiety and making me just wanna rip my hair out. I'm in a...relationship...with this girl. I say it like that because I really don't see her doing anything to show me she likes me, though she will say it randomly- at very odd times. It's more "Oh I have a hot girlfriend" to people who try to hit on her. We're long distance so that is probably some of it. Anyways it's been almost 2 years. But that's not the problem.

    In a couple of months I'm going on a trip with my best friend, I mean we are the ones that keep each other going. She is a wonderful friend and she has helped me stay alive many many times. But it's gonna be me, my friend, my girlfriend and one of her friends. I know this is only gonna end in disaster since no one has ever met anyone else, but it's mainly for the drive and the hotel room that 4-5 people are going to be cramped in.

    My problem is...my friend doesn't know we're dating. Not because I'm tryin to hide that I got a girlfriend. But she said something that ended up hurting my friend's feelings before we started dating. Since then I've kinda kept the two distant. But soon we're all going to be on the same trip together.

    What do I do? I keep thinking- to keep the peace I should ask for a break in the relationship. Not break up but just a break...This also will help my mental status a little since this relationship seems to take a toll on my mental status and just how many times I've thought of ending it all. But but what do I do. Should I ask for the break, and then re-evaulate it all? Or should I hold my breath and hope that there aren't too many fireworks during this trip? I've also thought of asking my gf to not announce it and just kinda keep it low key, without telling her why.

    I hate this and I just needa know what to do. I've tried to not ask all of you because this is my mess that I created. But it just has caused me to loose sleep and even wonder if I should cancel the trip, though that ends up hurting so many people. I mean I KNOW the answer is right there in front of me, and is something easy.

    I can always tell my friend, but how do I word it without making her feel insificant? I've thought of telling her but explaining to her that- for her ears only- I really never saw this lasting, and I still don't but I'm waiting to see what happens. Would that be ok? I mean it's the truth. I don't see this relationship working out unless there are big time changes, and there isn't. But...is that ok to tell my friend? I know she'd keep a secret. I know her to be that good. But...I don't know.

    See...this is why I keep loosing sleep, my mind doesn't stop. And it plays out so many ways this can go and it just makes my anxiety increase! Please any help would be loved. I fail at relationships...as you can see!
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I think you are right - the answers are there and you already know them. I do not think anybody can tell you which is best for you - nobody can know enough from a few paragraphs to really advise which way is best for you, key being that you need to decide based on yourself not your friends or girlfriend.

    Take Care

    Ben
     
  3. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    Like you said, I think you know the answer, you're just afraid of what the answer is going to do to your relationships. Alos, it's been 2 years since you and your girlfriend have gotten together, and your friend has probably gotten over what your GF said. I think you should let your friend know before the trip so she's not blind sided.

    And if you truly believe you need a break from your relationship with your GF, then do that. If you're losing so much sleep about this, then it means you know the answer but you don't want to accept it. Listen to what you are telling yourself.