I need help in helping myself.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Nicole_O91, Nov 15, 2008.

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  1. Nicole_O91

    Nicole_O91 Active Member

    [I'm 18, 19 in January. I've had depression since I was 12 and problems with social anxiety since I was 14. Basically, before I finished high school, in May 2008, I applied to some university courses, and got accepted onto them. The one I've choose to do is a Fashion Business degree course. On the course information, they recommend having some kind of retail experiences or fashion experience. I had a little retail experience, but it was in a corner shop, so it's not fashion related. I also took part in a course alongside my final year at school, about fashion marketing, which is the equivelant of a first year university module. Cause I took part in that, I do have some fashion-based experience, that and I got A's in Art & Fashion Textiles. Anyway, I told my family and friends that I wanted to take a gap year before school and university, I told them I wanted some industry experience, which is partly true, but it's also cause I wanted some time to try and sort my mental state out. My parents, family and friends don't know I have depression. My best friend does but she lives an hour and a half away, so I don't see her very often. Anyway, on these university application's, I deferred my university place, so now I'm starting in September 2009.
    In July, something, which I will explain if you ask, happened, and basically I lost a lot of my friends, whom although didn't know about my problems, were a great source of support. I'm now talking to all but 2 of them, which is good, but I still don't feel comfortable enough to share it with them.
    Obviously, that whole situation has caused me a lot of stress, and I've been feeling very depression, and at times, suicidal. I started self-harming, cutting my arms and stomach when I was 13, I used to do it more often, but this year, I've been trying REALLY hard to stop. The last time I self-harmed, was mid-October. Also, since I've cut back (no pun intended) on self-harm, I've felt even more depressed. In a way, such a distruptive thing relieved pain.
    Basically, by next September, I want to feel at least a little better. I need help about ways to cope, learn, use my feelings productively.
    I know some of you might suggest telling my parents, and getting professional help, but with the current state of my trust issues, and my extremely broken relationship with my alcoholic, mentally/physically abusive dad, I don't feel I am able to.

    Basically, anything you can suggest would be greatly appreciated. I want this year to mean something.]

    If you read all of this, thank you, I greatly appreciate it.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hey Nicole! I read all of your thread, sorry to say that I have no advice I can give but Im here if you need to talk :hug:
     
  3. flayflow

    flayflow Well-Known Member

    ovbi you haven't told us what went on to make you lose some of your friends but have you possibly tried counselling? or maybe even just writing your thoughts and feelings down...it worked for me...maybe it could help you too?

    Im Always here if you want to PM me or want to add me on MSn or something all you have to do is ask ok hun

    Im here for you
    take Care
    :arms:
     
  4. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    i think its normal for people to take a year off, settle their minds and live life for a bit. I think thats what im gonna do because i am undecided on my future. Hope you find your way <3.
     
  5. geolab101

    geolab101 Well-Known Member

    there are free phone numbers you can call for support.

    A couple miles away from my house there is a teen center who has free counselling sessions. You might try looking into something like that.
     
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Nichole,
    If you don't want to try therapy, why don't you call your local hospital and ask if there is any group therapies around for depression? It doesn't help everyone, but it does help some. I had to quit because I felt like I was being attacked. What ever I would say there was this woman in there who would make a smart ass remark about it. So I quit going. Like I said it helps some people. I really recommend a regular therapist. More one on one talk,they are very helpfull.
     
  7. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    I also think its a good idea if you would like to take some time off and sort yourself out before starting university. Maybe i should have gone to university when i was a little older and more experienced.
     
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