I need help now before it gets worse.

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by journeyman, Dec 22, 2007.


Does this look like an effective way to get help?

Poll closed Dec 27, 2007.
  1. yes

    1 vote(s)
  2. no

    9 vote(s)
  3. I don't know

    0 vote(s)
  4. Contact me and I'll tell you a better way (please include email)

    0 vote(s)
Multiple votes are allowed.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. journeyman

    journeyman New Member

    I am so lost I don't know what to do. I had a nervous breakdown last week and tried to kill myself. It took a long time to figure out which way but I decided it would be best to lay down with pictures of what I was losing and never wake up. So I got pictures of my wife, my dog, and my son, and took a <Mod-Edit-Dare to Dream-Methods>

    Luckily that part of me that still wanted to live made me send a suicide note via email. Looking back I know I wanted someone, anyone, to call the police, and someone did.

    I'm posting this because, now that I'm back from the mental hospital, the problems that were there before are worse.

    Suicide was an escape for me. Living on after the attempt is embarrassing, and the issues are just bigger.

    I realize now that this is going to be a little long winded, please bear with me.

    This is the result of a very bad combination of personalities. I met a woman who is bipolar, and has frequent manic episodes and torturous depressions. I myself have been diagnosed ADHD with depressive/anxiety disorder. Not a good combination, considering I chose to 'save' her from her situation when I met her. I realize now that I'd never be able to do so. She isn't something that is broken and I can fix. She has a disorder and I may never be able to have a healthy relationship with her.

    We married soon after we met, ostensibly to keep her from being Baker Acted by her parents. It had happened just before we met and she was paranoid about it. The first week we dated she was awake for four days straight, and I was right alongside. I remember emailing her parents that I was now her "champion and defender of her rights".

    Things started going bad when I lost my job for taking time off to help her through a manic episode. I was too embarrassed to tell my bosses why, and so there is no documentation to show that it is a legitimate case for representation under the Family Medical Leave Act.

    I wrecked our new car trying to get to her and take her to work one day; she was violently angry if I was ever late.

    Then last week, she decided I was going nowhere and left. It was the most abrupt change I have ever witnessed in a relationship. I am still reeling. I tried to kill myself two days later. I'm on Lithium, and Prozac, but I cry at least three or four times a day. Whenever I see her mementos, or a girl that looks like her, or her make and model car...

    But the reason I'm writing this is for suggestions or assistance with my finances. Since I was waiting on the unemployment, and couldn't really work due to the depression, we were living off savings.

    When she left, she emptied the bank account.

    I now have over two thousand dollars in bills. Most of it is already due.

    I created a post on Digital Charity - here is the URL: http://www.digitalcharity.com/m.php?id=21245

    If you know anyone who could help, please send them the link. If you know of any charity programs I can apply for, please let me know as well. I'm set up to receive emails from group members.

    Thank you,
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 24, 2007
  2. rojomi

    rojomi Banned Member

    I think it's generally referred to as "the blind leading the blind". But then again, many have found help & support here. Speaking for myself only, I have not.
    Insight from reading the posts, yes, help or support-no.

    Sorry, didn't comprehend your full post at first. In a case of dire circumstances, there are lots of public charity type organizations
    set up to help; a social worker from a govm't or hospital should be able to direct you. good luck.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 22, 2007
  3. perry_mason

    perry_mason Well-Known Member

    It seems like your having problems and i feel bad for you but im afraid this reeks of a scam.

    whatever problems you are having, you cant expect people on the internet to just help you out financially.
  4. kath

    kath Well-Known Member

    Hi.i really feel for you and your situation.Sounds like your having a hard time and have many different issues and you sound a bit lost with little support.Welcome to the forum.We are here to listen and support each other.There is a really great bunch of people here.I mean that from the bottom of my heart as they have put up with me through thick and thin.

    I am only a member and Site Buddy here and not a member of staff on this forum in any way [and you may want to speak to them further] so I can in no way speak for the site.However my experiences from this site would indicate to me that while a lot of people here suffer financial difficulties [including myself currently in that] we can provide emotional support with this and ideas for charities etc to approach for grants or assistance etc if people know of them but this site itsself cannot and must not be used to fundraise money or ask for direct financial assistance.

    This is because while peoples situations may be genuine this is a place full of other vulnerable people and it is not a place for this.

    Personally I feel for you though and would like to keep talking to you to see if we can support you in any way emotionally or with ideas.im glad you found us and i hope you find the site some help.Please keep talkiing.How are you now?Take care.kath
  5. journeyman

    journeyman New Member

    Thank you to the helpful responders...

    I realize I am on a forum for people who deal with suicide. Whether the thought of their own haunts a member, or someone close to them, it is just as real and grave a subject.

    So when someone calls me a scam artist for requesting advice or assistance, I give them a little leeway. They're in the trenches too.

    This is my way of asking for help. I don't like going and sitting in a government office with beleaguered bureaucrats staffing it, waiting to hear I haven't filled out the right form. I have tried for months to wade through government red tape from the unemployment office while I cared for my wife. It appears that the fastest way to get back on my feet is twofold: find private individuals who can give money NOW, and get into some kind of job. I'll deal with my physical pain and lie to the labor finders and dig ditches when business resumes after Christmas. But that will not prevent me from being evicted, and at $40 a day, it will take almost two weeks of it to get my car back.

    So, going forward - thank you to everyone who takes my posting seriously and doesn't use this forum as a chance to flame me or to take out their own bitterness by kicking someone else who is down. I am sorry if MY posting reply is bitter. I own that. I have to work on many issues.

    I greatly appreciate and strongly encourage anyone with constructive advice to respond or email me directly.

    Best wishes to you and yours at the holidays,
  6. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    I don't get this post. I guess i'm not so intelligent after all..

    Er, hope you're okay.
  7. journeyman

    journeyman New Member


    It's cool, I don't get it any more either. And no one has donated crap anyhow, so I guess it was my attempt to vent, in a verbose manner. ;-)

    Things have cooled down, I have gotten some referrals for more government aid, and I think I may even land a vocational rehab assistance program. It all started with hating life as a cube zombie, anyway. So maybe if they'll cover expenses while I go back to school I can end up with a job I like. Such as suicide counselor or something. Not.

    I'll post the stuff I find out once I get responses - maybe people will be able to help another suicidal Romeo Dilbert with the info.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.