i need help PLEASE

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by caroline1104, Apr 22, 2010.

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  1. caroline1104

    caroline1104 New Member

    hi im 23 and im struggling with depression currently on venaflaxine medication my older sister comitted suicide Oct 09 and my mom died Jan 18th 2010 i am a lesbian and have been in a relationsip for 7yrs with my partner but i had too much to drink last night and ended up kissing a friend of mine (only for a second!) which she walked in and saw...im at my wits end because i know my judgement was clouded for a moment and im struggling with my feelings anyhow ive been off work for 5weeks now and to make matters worse my girlfriend is returning to my house to colect her belongings and says that we havent been close "for weeks" despite her telling me everything was ok when i thought she was cold towards me. its been 3months since i lost my best friend, my mother and i cant bear the thought of losing her iv already considered suicide but even more so now i would rather be dead than be without her i cant do this anymore ive been through so much and i dont know how much more i can handle i am so so sad and cant see any other way out.
  2. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    This is probably not helpful, but have you tried going up to her and explaining what happened? It was a meaningless kiss and you were drunk. Literally, meaningless and it's nothing she should feel threatened by.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    HiC and glad you found us...things seem so much more desparate when we are in the middle of them...maybe there is a mid-ground between your girlfriend taking her belongings and your feeling such shame...you made a mistake...welcome to the planet...and now you have to fix what you can...hope your girlfriend finds the place to forgive you and hope you forgive yourself...welcome again and big hugs, J
  4. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    Hi so glad you've come to the forum for support, sounds like you could do with some friends to help support you through such rough times. I'm really sorry to hear about your sister and your mum, do you have any professional support around you to help you get through this awful time? Have you tried talking to your girlfriend?explaining what really happened and how you've really been feeling?It may help her understand more and see what it really is - just a mistake after a few to drink when your feeling more vunrable. I hope your able to sort things xx
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