I need help to find out if my son

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bostonensis, May 27, 2007.

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  1. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    I watch a show MSNBC about men in prison.Suddenly there is a feeling of suspicion that my son is being molested/porno/sexual abused by his father.My son suppose to come home last Wed but he called me saying Mom I have tons of homework,I 'll come tomorrow,Thursday he did not come,Friday he did not come. I was cery upset.Tonight I put a lot of things together since I can remember how isolated my son is. As far as I could remember his father took him out from one doctor to another who is supportive of my son,alleging Drs/therapists are biased.I cannot tell you how many pediatricians my son has to be transferred to & daycares when he was small.He prevented me from accessing his medical reports,school ,basically everything.In 2004 my son refuses to go back to his fathers but forced by the police becoz by court order we shared custody.He was very very scared back then,he was hanging on the rails of the stairways when the police came to physically removed him from my house. In my Annulment Decree,there is no allegations of sexual abuse as I have no idea,all in ther is abuse towards me deceit & fraud as the grounds of the Decree of Nullity. as time progresses my son is exhibiting a very different behavior that never dawn on me until tonite. I realized he is in total seclusion/isolation.No one can come to see him esp coming to me unless it is my custodial time,which he still sometimes make up stories that he sick but refuses to bring him to the Drs. He has a severe eczema & asthma & will takes almost 6 mos to get him to the Pedia once it flared up.My son told me that the Dr give him a card to keep in touch with him. My son is very very close to me.Now he is seldom talking , withdrawn,ask him what's going on ; he always answer me good. He won't call me unless he needs to go somewhere else & he makes sure that I do not stay there & will call me when he is ready to pick up.Last year also , we play chess all the time ,he keep on insisting that if he lose, then the punishment he likes is for me to let him wear girls underwear,clothing & paint his nails. He was very very persistant about this & I find this bizzarre.I try to educate him about sexual predators online & he told me he does not want to hear this.His father isolated him from any friends he has. Now he is very extremely compliant.he would even ask me when he goes to the bathroom.compliant,alwys on guard & always seem scared something bad would happen.he complains about stomach aches & father doesn't care to check him to the Dr.Even our closest friend have noticed how my son is very withdrawn,lost of any desire of any activity he use to enjoy.Once a week we go out for breakfast & talk about movies & stuff in school but lately he's been very quiet & I cannot let him talk.His grades are dropping & his father demands unreasonable expectations that is extremely stressful for him.He barely have fun activities.I put all these things together tonight & bang I have this very eerie feeling.My gut feeling is so profound ,I cannot console myself.He is also doesn't wanna be touch or hug anymore while he use to crawl to my bed when he is with me. In the middle of the night I would noticed he is crawled next to me.There is ahistory of porno with my X.He use to tie me in the bed & asked to wear lingerie that is used in SM. I found out his addiction to porno when my son was a baby & crawls all over the house & found all kinds of things & some of them are porno tapes.Very disgusting.I know he is a sick man.
    My son has also severe asthma attributed to stress,& we use to have an asthma specialist who is very protective of my son too. His father took him out of there & go to another specialist & all his medical providers are instructed that mother has no make any access to my son records without his permission.This new pedia I think got a clue. I will cancel my colonoscopy this week to attend to this issue.Please I need your advice to deal with this. I have to establish the truth,I am not going to the authorities ,they are useless as tits on the bull,been there for 13 years ,I end up relinquishing my custody.If if I find out the truth , I will go to hell 10x if I needed to for the sake of my son.My struggle right now is that my son is avoiding to talk about it.I surf the net & clearly the facts are overwhelming .Once I establish the facts , I need your help to get rid of these animals.Court are part of pedophilia ring,that is out of my list, I will not have a second thought to get rid of thes people ,at this time , a message must be sent out there, we are fighting back. This is not violence,someone got to teach these judges that we mothers have much bigger balls than them. It is my commitment to protect children from harm. I will stay in prison if I have to the rest of my life. I need your guidance..please please please. I cannot sleep .I am shaking all of my body. How stupid I can be not to recognize these signs. He crossed my boundaries & my precious one. My son's safety comes first immaterial what will cost me. This is why I was in that verge again this last few days when I do not see my son.No I will not waste my life without getting even to the people who inflicted so much pain & injustice for my family.

    If I cannot be here anymore,rest assured I am in prison,I will not plead insanity or anything. I want them to know I am in the right state of mind & I know what I am doing. getting rid of ruthless animals is justified. It is an honor to save childrens lives.

    I look forward to your suggestions & esp personal experiences......Thanks in advance. It's almost 2am passed my bedtime 10 pm. I am extremely anxious. I will trade tons of my meds for a gun. You name it I have it . Becoz of my conditions I have access to all kinds of meds.The end justifies the means. Criminals are not all bad people, we are forced to the point of breaking the law that is victimizing innocent people. We got to fight back. Women with balls are warriors.
     
    Last edited: May 27, 2007
  2. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    personally i am a survivor of molestation by to chesters. one when i was 5 and the other when i was 16. i can't tell you it's ok to take care of your business, but i can tell you this: while in prison, chesters are not very well liked. a lot of them become the victim of ssex crimes themselves or get the crap beat out of them while in prison. i have also been in and out of prison for the last ten years for my stupidity. pedaphiles do get what is coming to them while in prison.
    i respect where you are coming from, as i would be saying the same thing if something happened to my child. yet, at the same time, are you 100%sure and positive of this? amke sure and get evidense, then do yourself afavor and let the authorities take care of it. this is coming from a jcat that hates authority figures of every kind, especially cops. think before you act, please.
     
  3. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    I distrus authorities. I might end up in the mental institution.Sorry, 13 yrs fighting the custody of my son is enough lesson for me to distrust authorities.I am ready for prison when necessary.My son worth the living hell for me.
     
  4. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    please, just think things through first. ok. pm me if you want to talk.
     
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    The first thing you need to do is find out just what the hell has been going on.
    Next time you have your son, can you not take him to a doctor/hospital; explain your concerns and get them to check him medically?
    If the authorities find physical evidence then you have a better point to fight from.
     
  6. immure

    immure Account Closed

    ask ur son straight. iwas told once if we can t be direct in our words it doesn t give the person permission to talk . tell him you will protect him there are things inplace and if he believes different that is part of the manipulation of the abuser and it is wrong. you talk to a lawyer. get ready so u r in the upper hand by the courts. there are some good people don t get overly parinoid that you don t rcruit the proper suports and steady and slowly but with a definate end get this figured out.
     
  7. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    How would I phrase the question? O btw my name is Li, I am from NH. My mind feels like is going to explode ,I am very very distraught ,nothing is in my mind but anger,I cannot focus. The pain is compounding ,I was here a lot becoz I am in rage & nothing seems to alleviate. My pain is deep way out of reach. I called my sister that I should be calm but how can a mother be calm if her child is not safe. Please give some guidance. I belong to an organization in Albay NY called the Battered Mothers in Custody .I know so much that women lost custody when there is an allegations of sexual abuse & lots of them end up dead or the Court put them in mental instritution. Knowing these facts, it never ever occurred to me the porno addiction of my X.I know now for a fact that he is a pedophile but he is very slick.He is legally blind so he uses this to his advantage but he is a sick bastard.How could I be so blind. I am very active in this issues that's how much hate the judge has to me becoz for 13 yrs I fought like hell & I am well known in the legal community about the friction between me the legal system. Please support me to get my son justice,not for me but for my son & also the other children. Somebody got to stand up for the children. This is a pedophilia ring which as you know is a very organized crime. I am willing to donate my life for this cause.My life is terminal anyway but I want this cause be known as we are all scared but this is another story ,I cannot live knowing that he is being molested .Just can't........sorry
     
  8. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    I also called him if he wants to go brunch with me.He never answeer his phone.
     
  9. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    I feel so disgraced by what is happening right now. I felt trmendous guilt that my precious one whom I thought is the best accomplishment in this life would not tell me anything. We have such an open communication ever since.I felt a tremendous fear that is inside in him.I educated him about child molesters & predators,while he is in that situation. He told me ,last night that he did once or twice but he couldn't remember,then he asked me if we can talk about it sometimes but not now.I sift through the websites the American Pediatric Psychiatry & read all the signs of abuse ,I put everything through ,mymind is too overloaded with guilt & shame.Knowing this now,I realized how much he needed me.It is so impossible for me not to see them while I helped a lot of women who gone through this before.I relinquish his custody out of my concern that the bitterness of the battle is affecting him.And the fuckin attorney I have also adviced me to do.
    Honestly, if I know then what I know now,I ahould have not get out of the marriage;maybe I could have protected him better.This is why I am not crazy about this Domestic Violenece organizations. They are just bunch of wannabes that knows shit about abuse.So they have jobs& the lifestyles but shit they not worth a dime of the taxpaeyrs money.That is a different story.My reality now is how to get my son safe?This is an organized crime lurking everywhere.
    I never thought of this one.Life always likes to destroy me. I always believed that I am doing what is the best for my son.
    Thanks for listening.....grateful
     
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