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I need help with unhealthy relationship

gggg

Public Access
#1
Hi, I met a girl a few days ago and things got deep fast and I need out, but she may self harm if I leave, she needs a friend, I'm just not in the place to have friends right now. How should I break it off?
 

Optimistic Goatman

The woolly enigmatic one
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#2
Hi, I met a girl a few days ago and things got deep fast and I need out, but she may self harm if I leave, she needs a friend, I'm just not in the place to have friends right now. How should I break it off?
I think my answer would be to show that you do care about her and that you want her to be as okay as possible, but to explain your feelings on the matter truthfully. It's all about honesty combined with showing understanding of her feelings. I think if it were me i would want to highlight more that i didn't feel i was what she needed right now, rather than suggest it was a failing on her part. Beyond that i'd say that the main key is to not put it on yourself whether she self harms or not. She will make that decision in and of herself, and that shouldn't be treated as your fault or responsibility to prevent.
 

iwihbn

Don't the sun look angry at me?
#3
Hi, I met a girl a few days ago and things got deep fast and I need out, but she may self harm if I leave, she needs a friend, I'm just not in the place to have friends right now. How should I break it off?
I don't want to presume, but this will not be a healthy relationship. If she is threatening self-harm within a couple of days of meeting you, then that demonstrates some issues with attachment. As Goatman said, it isn't on you to protect her from herself.
If you decide to break up with her, do it in a well lit, public place. Tell her that she needs a friend through this time, not a relationship.
I believe in you, and whatever decision you make, I think it'll be the right one! Good luck homie :D
 

KM76710

KM stands for Kangaroo Manager
SF Supporter
#4
I don't want to presume, but this will not be a healthy relationship. If she is threatening self-harm within a couple of days of meeting you, then that demonstrates some issues with attachment. As Goatman said, it isn't on you to protect her from herself.
If you decide to break up with her, do it in a well lit, public place. Tell her that she needs a friend through this time, not a relationship.
I believe in you, and whatever decision you make, I think it'll be the right one! Good luck homie :D
That is my take also, things seem to be starting out wrong from the start and I would not expect them to improve.
 

JDot

J to the Dizzle O to the Tizzle
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#5
Hey @gggg If this girl harms herself it is not your fault in any way. Her self-harm has to do with herself and what she's dealing with. The best thing to do is be honest with her.
 

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