I need help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by flyinginabluedream, Sep 11, 2014.

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  1. flyinginabluedream

    flyinginabluedream Account Closed

    Two months ago I lost my job. I have not been able to find another one. I am flat broke, and about to be kicked out of my apartment. I honestly have no where to go. I refuse to be a bum, holding a sign begging for a single dollar.

    I'm also a raging alcoholic. I drink non stop. I've lost all my friends, my family wont talk to me anymore. I have nothing left. Many nights I think of ending it all. Ways to do it, where to do it. I have a week to come up with rent, and there is no money in my bank account. There are no couches to crash on. Only sleeping outside, homeless.

    I came up with how I was going to do it, and where. Someplace secluded, maybe they never find me. I drink to give myself the courage to just go ahead, but I think about my family and I cant. I honestly don't know what to do at this point. Ending it all seems so selfish. But I think about it non stop.
  2. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    they would talk, i think, if you admitted this problem to them and agreed to get help for the alcoholism. as well as saying to them you are losing your appartment. do get in touch with them and do it sober.
    alternatively, grimmer option, homeless shelters, hangouts, soup kitchens, research and speak to people there, gather suggestions and options. resist temptation of the dark fantasies
  3. denise_c

    denise_c Active Member

    Dear Flying,
    I also recommend talking to someone you know, maybe in your family. Someone who is maybe more open minded than the others, or some one you had less problem with. Talk to this person now.
    You need help, maybe from that person, to get in touch with associations / shelters / communities that could help you.
    WHat did you do today? How are you feeling?
  4. flyinginabluedream

    flyinginabluedream Account Closed

    I did what I do. Drink. To build up the idea that this will work. Then after enough to drink I lose the urge. (I am sorry, I am drunk)

    You are both right, I need to see other options. The idea of ending it all seems like a final solution, but I can't do it.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi and welcome, why are your family and friends refusing to talk to you?
    Just a statistic I was reading earlier 90% of suicides in under 30's had alcohol in their system, plus I can tell you from personal experience that drinking alcohol will definitely increase your risk of suicide/harming yourself. If I was in your situation, I would try to make things up with my family, explain to them you need help even explain your suicidal thoughts and ask for their help in quitting alcohol, if at all possible?

    I hope things work out for you. :hug:
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