Two months ago I lost my job. I have not been able to find another one. I am flat broke, and about to be kicked out of my apartment. I honestly have no where to go. I refuse to be a bum, holding a sign begging for a single dollar. I'm also a raging alcoholic. I drink non stop. I've lost all my friends, my family wont talk to me anymore. I have nothing left. Many nights I think of ending it all. Ways to do it, where to do it. I have a week to come up with rent, and there is no money in my bank account. There are no couches to crash on. Only sleeping outside, homeless. I came up with how I was going to do it, and where. Someplace secluded, maybe they never find me. I drink to give myself the courage to just go ahead, but I think about my family and I cant. I honestly don't know what to do at this point. Ending it all seems so selfish. But I think about it non stop.