Hey everyone,
I don't know if anyone here can help me with this. I thought I was doing okay, despite everything that's happened the last few months. My girlfriend of 3 years left me back in September. It was like a death. I thought everything was okay, next thing I know she's telling me how indifferent we've become toward each other and moves out. I haven't seen or heard from her since. It really is like she died. I hate her so much for what she did to me. How could I be indifferent if I felt this strongly. I had a nightmare last night where I was slapping her and calling her horrible names.... she just stood there, saying nothing. It was like beating up a corpse.
I've tried to do the best I can to put my life back together. I've been taking classes to getting into a better field where I can support myself without needing aid from someone else, unlike right now. Nothing I do ever holds off the feelings I have of hating the human race so much. We're such disgusting creatures. Every extention of kindness is nothing but a veiled attempt to gain social favor, whether we're aware of it or not. It makes me sick.
Bottom line is, I don't know what to do. I probably need counseling, but my insurance won't cover it. So unless there are ways of getting free treatment, I'm out of luck.
I don't know if anyone here can help me with this. I thought I was doing okay, despite everything that's happened the last few months. My girlfriend of 3 years left me back in September. It was like a death. I thought everything was okay, next thing I know she's telling me how indifferent we've become toward each other and moves out. I haven't seen or heard from her since. It really is like she died. I hate her so much for what she did to me. How could I be indifferent if I felt this strongly. I had a nightmare last night where I was slapping her and calling her horrible names.... she just stood there, saying nothing. It was like beating up a corpse.
I've tried to do the best I can to put my life back together. I've been taking classes to getting into a better field where I can support myself without needing aid from someone else, unlike right now. Nothing I do ever holds off the feelings I have of hating the human race so much. We're such disgusting creatures. Every extention of kindness is nothing but a veiled attempt to gain social favor, whether we're aware of it or not. It makes me sick.
Bottom line is, I don't know what to do. I probably need counseling, but my insurance won't cover it. So unless there are ways of getting free treatment, I'm out of luck.