I Need Help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Zebrasinamerica, Mar 9, 2007.

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  1. I'm a 22 year old white male (not that that really matters in this situation), I have been diagnosed with pretty severe bi-polar/manic depression. I do know that this "disease" or "imbalance" has a history in my family tree however my aunt and I are the ones who suffer from it the most. My fiance just left me and I am having a hard time controling anything at all much less my urges to end it all. I will be doing fine and then it's like I get hit by a train of emotions throwing me in a million different ways and it's getting harder and harder to handle those train wrecks. I tried therapy in the past with my family doc, that one just turned into me telling him I wanted to get the scalpel out of his drawer and end it right then. I also went to a psych and I could tell thigs were going to turn out in the same fashion if I started to dive into my personal problems so I just said "I'm doing ok" evertime I went to see her.

    I am just really needing some help/ideas of how to curb these train wrecks and get through my current situation.

    Thank you all

    Zebra
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Do try again with the psych, it maybe you just haven't found the right one.
    Also, there maybe a way to right the chemical inbalance that occurs, so see your gp.
    If you can, try writting down whats happening when the train crash emotions start, you might find a trigger in there and then be able to avoid it.
     
  3. I've looked for a trigger but they literally come from no where at all. I will be perfectly fine and in an instant I do a complete 180. I have had the word "Alive" written on my wrist for the past 2 days cause I read somewhere (I think on here) that it can help and hey I'm not dead yet so I can't really say that it hasn't helped. I really just dont want to be here anymore, I've thought about pulling out infront of a semi driving home, sliting my wrists, shooting myself and jumping. I have just run out of will power to fight this feeling off again and I dont know what to do and I can't fight much more.

    Zebra
     
  4. shellz

    shellz Guest

    Do you have any friends to call when your feeling like this? It is helpful to have a good support system when you are feeling as crumy as you are now. Maybe try calling a friend or even a family member would help you out a bit. You dont have to come right out and tell them whats up, just start the conversation out lighty and then work your way into telling them whats going on with you. Yea, its a really hard thing to do when your feeling like junk, but it does feel better when you get some of the things out of you.

    Hang in there :hug:
     
  5. I wish I did have someone to call or email but my best friend (my ex-fiance) just gets furious when I bring up the subject and insists that "You're smarter and stronger than that" She just doesn't get it, it's not my damn choice and getting mad and annoyed only makes the situation worse. I have called her looking for help and she simply hung up after saying "I dont want to hear this shit so don't call me back until you're past it" and she is the only person I thought I could turn to in a situation like this and now I have no one and that is how I ended up finding this page. I mean she says she just simply said she lost all of her feelings for me after 3 1/2 years of being madly in love with one another. I honestly have physical pain that has come from the situation and my mind has gone to mush. I just want it to be over because everything good in my life ends up like this and I am so tired of being crushed.

    Zebra
     
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