The only reason I'm not doing something extremely stupid right now is because I can barely move due to pain. The minute I think I can manage to move, I know I'll be in trouble. This is my last shot at staying alive - I've had too many promises of help broken recently that I doubt I could ever be helped. I'm sorry for being stupid enough to think that this post might not be a giant waste of everyone else's time. After all, what does it matter to any of you if this nameless random does do the stupid thing?