I need help!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Fraa Erasmas, Jun 24, 2011.

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  1. Fraa Erasmas

    Fraa Erasmas Member

    My girlfriend of 10 months, who I love more than anything in the world, broke up with me today because of my depression (isn't that kinda like breaking up with someone because they caught a disease?). Anyways, I will do ANYTHING to keep her. I love her so much and she is the only purpose in my life.

    I told her this and asked her to just wait for me while I get help (i.e. counseling, taking the pills I'm supposed to take, making myself a better person, etc.). She says she'll think about it. If she says no, I have a <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> on order to kill myself... But hopefully she will say yes. If she does, does anyone have any advice? I don't know if the counseling and medication will be enough to convince her, but I don't know what else I can do do fix myself and be a better person for her.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 25, 2011
  2. Anonymous1452

    Anonymous1452 Member

    You can't help what is wrong with you,and if you ex can't see that you're really having a shitty time then she's not the one. You can't change people, especially not by changing yourself.
     
  3. Fraa Erasmas

    Fraa Erasmas Member

    But I really feel like she is the one. I've had other girlfriends, but she's the only one I've truly loved. I would do anything for her.
     
  4. Anonymous1452

    Anonymous1452 Member

    Mate I'm not saying you don't love her, but people are just ****s. If she felt the same way about you she would sty with you, because that's what love is. People come back from Afghanistan with no legs and their other halves stay with them because they love them.
     
  5. Fraa Erasmas

    Fraa Erasmas Member

    And she says she loves me too, and she wants to stay and be with me, just not as a couple... It's just, my depression is making it hard for us to be happy together, so I understand where she is coming from.
     
  6. Anonymous1452

    Anonymous1452 Member

    So what's your problem?! Sort it out, get some counselling, actually TAKE medication for the thing you have wrong with you that is making things hard for you and maybe things might start to look up? All that stuff is there for a reason, to help you get better when something is wrong, so you might aswell use it :)
     
  7. mikest8

    mikest8 Member

    I understand you, mate. First of all, I'm sorry for this situation... The depression, break up and everything.

    Please don't you ever consider the suicide way, see I'm not trying to blackmail you, but that'd make her feel guilty for the rest of her life, and that's not what we want for people we care, right?

    I surely hope she'll agree in taking you back after you get into the treatments. If you do it right, I think you'll get much better of your depression. Just don't be concerned in advance and see how the treatments goes.

    Before you decide to do anything please come here, there's a plenty of guys who can help you. Also, feel free to contact me by PM, I'm here whenever you want to talk.
     
  8. Fraa Erasmas

    Fraa Erasmas Member

    Thank you very much. I really hope she will give me the chance to do better. But the thing is, I don't think she will... It took a lot of convincing just to get her to consider it... I am pretty much settled into the suicide choice at this point. And to be honest, I really am not considering suicide because I am depressed... In fact, the time I actually tried this (I took three times the lethal dosage of a drug, but was caught because my Mom found the empty pill bottle and rushed me to the hospital) I wasn't even said. I simply reached the conclusion that it's what I need to do.

    I mean, I can't live without a purpose. I'm not a materialist; simply existing isn't good enough for me. If I can't find a purpose in my life, then it is worthless. When she came, it gave me a purpose, and I have become such a better person because of her presence in my life. She kept me from killing myself a few times, even, and now that she's gone... I just don't see a reason to keep going. It's not that I'm so depressed I just want to end it out of sadness, it's just, without her, it makes more sense to me that I should die instead of going on with a painful and broken life.

    On a side note, earlier today I ALMOST sent my suicide note to a whole bunch of people on a website. It was right next to the message I was supposed to be sending them, and I accidentally copied and pasted the wrong one. o_O Luckily I caught it in time and fixed it, hahaha!
     
  9. mikest8

    mikest8 Member

    Oh, wow. Thankfully you didn't send, lol.

    Look, you gotta see her side also. Maybe she's not believing you can do it, or too shocked. You have to admit that breaking up must not have been a easy choice to her either.

    A wise once told me here that I could not premeditate my entire future, see everything based in what I know and have now. I could not be that hard on myself. We never know what tomorrow brings. At first I was unwilling, but then I realized she was right. You can't settle suicide that much based in what you know now. What if you were having these suicidal thoughts before you met her? You'd never know how many great times you'd have. There's still the chance that she takes you back, no matter how small you think it is.

    When I first came here I was also saying I couldn't live without a purpose, but that very same woman made me see that everyday new things are brought to us and if you try to hold on and so much pain in your friend, relatives and beloved ones would be avoided. Think, how great would that be if you took the meds, got better and got your girlfriend back? Why don't try? Why don't give the meds a chance? You deserve a chance with your girlfriend, so does the meds. I'm sure she really wants you to get better, she loves you after all.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 25, 2011
  10. Fraa Erasmas

    Fraa Erasmas Member

    I do see her side. I see that my failure to control my depression has hurt her possibly as much as it has hurt me, and for that I am deeply sorry.

    And you're right, I can't see the future. There is the chance that we will get back together, and that will be if she decides to be here for me while I try to get help so I can be a better person. But if she decides she is not willing to wait for that, then it seems we will not be together again. Even if there is the small chance that she will eventually come back, it is too miniscule for it to outweigh the enormous probability that it's over for good.

    I don't want to hurt the people I love, but living without her hurts more. I did have these suicidal thoughts before I met her, and she is the reason that I almost completely got rid of them. I was still depressed and still felt suicidal every now and then (in fact I posted here once), but on the whole she made my life so much better and helped me to conquer my depression almost completely. But still, the depression was there, even if only just barely. It was there enough to show, and I failed to stop it, and for that I have lost the only thing keeping me alive.

    She wants me to get better, but she wants me to do it without her... If it's going to be without her, then I can't see the point in it. I don't WANT to be better without her... And I know, I know, we don't always get what we want. I know that. But I am saying that if I don't get this, then I won't be able to live with myself.
     
  11. mikest8

    mikest8 Member

    I'm sorry I haven't answered in this gap, I had some setbacks. Hope you don't mind.

    Like I said, I'd recommend you to go ahead with the treatments without thinking too much in all the possibilities. Do that for you, and if not for you do it for her and how she would be glad to see you better. If she loves you, and I think she does, she'll take you back. I think you're just being hard with yourself and pessimistic. Why not give future a chance? Even if you just linger for a while and take the meds. If you are deep depressed why should you kill yourself now? I'm not saying you should at all, but why not wait another month? She wants you to get better. Take the meds and go show her that the person that she felt in love is back. Just tell me you'll hold on, ok?

    Edit:
    By the way, had you already started the treatments?
     
  12. Fraa Erasmas

    Fraa Erasmas Member

    I have begun counseling, yes... Sorry for not replying soon as well.
     
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