I need help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by miss_ri, Aug 13, 2011.

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  1. miss_ri

    miss_ri New Member

    I've been down this road so often, you would think I would be a pro at it by now. It seems like each time, it just gets worse and worse.

    I'd seek professional help but I have an ex who likes to use my mental health against me (especially when I seek out help for myself). We have a child. I am not a mess around my child, nor am I a danger to him. I really can't afford to keep going to court, but I can't afford to lose my son either.

    I can't handle stress. I have nobody to talk to. Nobody who understands what it is like to live with a heart this heavy. I have post traumatic stress. Any little stress just sets me off.

    Right now, all I want more than anything is to be touched. I've been crying all night because all I want is a hug. I want to be held, if only for a moment. For some reason, that makes it better for a while.

    I feel like a monster. I live with my boyfriend. He upset me a little bit today, and my house of cards just tumbled. Because of that he will have nothing to do with me. Even though I have begged and cried out for just the tiniest bit of affection. It has been denied to me. What kind of horrible person am I? Nobody wants to help me.

    I am lost and alone and I am cold. I feel like I will never be warm again. Which is sad, because I have a fever and I have been sick all week.
     
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hi miss_ri,

    Welcome. :) It seems like your boyfriend and ex both aren't sensitive to your needs. Truthfully, I know how much you want to be touched. May you be comforted at this time and feel better soon.

    With warmest regards,

    Alex
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you hun talk to your doctor okay it has to be kept confidential and see if you can get some medication changes done to decrease the depression hugs
     
  4. angee

    angee Well-Known Member

    Hiya hun, big hugs to you! I am in the same boat with my ex and the kids, i have to keep things secret so my mental health wont be used against me, but it is such a strain, i don't want to lose my kids but i dont feel like i am doing enough for them, they are not in danger, i am when they go to visit their dad because i think they will be better of without me! But i am trying to get help hun, i'm not hopeful but what have i got to lose! i can't feel worse! so go to your doc hun, make them help you! I'm here if u ever want to talk xxx
     
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