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I need help

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#1
I've tried the crisis line at the clinic
I've tried the samaritans
I'm trying so hard
The only thing stopping me is, I don't want to do anything in the place where my children live... i don't want my husband or children to have to deal with that

for the last hour i've been sat <Mod Edit - Acy - Methods>
i haven't done it cos i don't want my family to find me like that... my plan is to do it away from home
but today has been hard, and i came so close

i need help
someone to reach out to
someone i don't have to explain to
both times i reached out, to the clinic, to samaritans, they both asked... how can we help... i hung up, my only response could be... i don't want to die, but i can't help it, help me... why didn't they know?
 
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Acy

Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense
ADMIN
#2
Heya, MouseSLP :hug:...What has happened to make today so hard, hun?

PS: We're pro-life here, so I edited out your method...but I do want to know what's happening, sweetie.
 
#3
I'm sorry that you're struggling right now. Please know that even if you do it away from home, they will still have to deal with it. Your kids and husband will never be the same. I'm not trying to guilt trip you or anything I'm just trying to make sure you know this.

Please don't do this. Stay here and talk to us. Let us help you.
 
#4
i'm trying
but its hard
too guilty and hateful to stay alive
but don't want to place the horror on my family

i think my crisis is over now
if it happens, when it happens, i don't want it to be at home

oh god i wish i didn't hate me
but i do
everyone would if they knew the real me
i hate me
 
#5
Your crisis is over now? What do you mean hun? :hug:

And I'm sure you wouldn't be hated if you let the real you out. You seem like a sweetheart.
 

Acy

Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense
ADMIN
#6
I don't hate you. :hug: I'm sure many people like and love you. You say you've got kids and family and I'd bet they love you a lot. :)

What's happening to make you feel this way today?
 
#7
thanks guys
i made it through another day

when i said my crisis was over, i meant that i'd managed to get through the terror and fear when i was scared i couldn't stop myself from doing something... took over 2 hours to control it this time. it's getting harder. i never stop thinking about it, not these days, but the times when i'm scared i'll lose control are becoming more frequent and last longer each time

i cut for the first time last night

hate myself even more for it. i'm not supposed to be like this
 
#9
thanks guys
i made it through another day

when i said my crisis was over, i meant that i'd managed to get through the terror and fear when i was scared i couldn't stop myself from doing something... took over 2 hours to control it this time. it's getting harder. i never stop thinking about it, not these days, but the times when i'm scared i'll lose control are becoming more frequent and last longer each time

i cut for the first time last night

hate myself even more for it. i'm not supposed to be like this
Hi MouseSLP,

It seems like you're going through some really hard times, and even making it through one day may be challenging. I was in similar shoes at once, and I can recall how I just wanted time to go by. Maybe you can try to take it one day at a time... look forward to anything, even if it's not that big, like say, the weekend, or dinner. That was it might be less overwhelming. I hope I can be here to support you when you need help. Remember that there's always someone that loves you.
 

pancake111

Well-Known Member
#10
When you have a crisis moment, try to do something to keep your mind off of it. Listening to music really helped/helps me when I'm having bad moments. And how old are your kids? Even if they don't find you, they will still be affected greatly if you kill yourself.
 
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