I've wanted to be dead for many years. But until today it was more of a case of thinking it's probably the "best option" since I'm a failure at life. But today my mind is black...death is my only option. I had put my hopes on the fact that surely, one day, I'd be happy. Yesterday was that day. I was blissfully happy, but it's over now. Never to be repeated. And seemingly it's only purpose was to show me how truly depressed I am the rest of the time. I WANT to take my own life, to feel the pain and struggle for one last time as I take my last breath. I'm in utter despair. I can't live another day... I need to not feel... to not be... I need oblivion.