Guys Right, I'm back here again, back in the shitpan. Basically, I tried to kill myself 2 months ago, I took a shitload of <Mod Edit: Abacus21 - methods> and ended up in Hospital. Long story short, nothings changed. I'm still shouted and screamed at at home, my mum makes everything about her and her job my dad drinks and doest come home til stupid o'clock in the morning, He talks to the dog more than he does to me I can't sleep, its the one thing I enjoy I've been priced out of my only hobby my OCD is out of control again. I have no friends, those people who do speak to me only take the piss Im going to loose my job because my sales are in the toilet No woman wants me because of the way I look The one girl I do like has put me firmly in the "friends" catagory and hardly speaks to me anymore. people still spit at me in the street because I am so ugly My novel has been rejected by 5 publishing companies and my agent dropped me I still killed my best friend my uncle is still wanting yet more money I would have thought things might have changed, but they never do. All that happens is it gets worse and worse and I'm getting more and more desperate. Things are trending downwards, and to be honest, I'm not sure thats something I want to be a part of any more. Now, I reckon if I had a girlfriend, or some friends who actually genuinely liked me, I might have a chance of having a semi-happy life. I'm not after anything earth shattering, just someone who actually likes me and wants to be with me. Its not like I've got an overwhelming desire to die, like I did a couple of months ago, I just don't see the point in being alive if all life is going to be is just one constant cycle of hollow joy and bitter disappointment. I honestly feel like the modern day Job. So look, what do I do? if I had something or someone to live for, it might mae things easier.